179. The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How to Make Your Life Better (and Other People’s Lives Better, Too)
Author: Gretchen Rubin
Rating: ☆☆☆☆
Recommended by: Shannon Lemmon
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement, Psychology
320 pages, published September 12, 2017
Reading Format: Book
Summary
In The Four Tendencies, happiness and habit guru Gretchen Rubin explores the four personality tendencies that almost everyone falls into: Upholders, Questioners, Obligers, and Rebels. During her years long investigation into understanding human nature, Rubin realized that by asking the simple question “How do I respond to expectations?” we can understand ourselves and our motivations much, much better. The book includes a 13 question quiz to determine your personality type. Once we know our personality type, we can order our world to maximize our productivity, achievement, personal relationships and happiness.
Quotes
“Upholder: Discipline is my Freedom.”
“Questioner: I’ll comply if you convince me why.”
“Obliger: You can count on me, and I’m counting on you counting on me.”
“Rebel: You can’t make me and neither can I.”
“You are the best judge of yourself. If you believe that a different Tendency describes you better, trust yourself.” I took the test and the results told me that I am a Questioner. This result is accurate, but like the good questioner that I am, I question the validity of Gretchen’s test.”
My Take
I’m a big fan of Gretchen Rubin, having read all of her previous books (The Happiness Project is my all time favorite, but I also got a lot out of Better than Before, her book on forming positive habits) and am also a frequent listener of her Happier podcast. The Four Tendencies goes deeper into the subject of how we respond to expectations first raised by Rubin in Better than Before. While whipping through this book in a single day, I took the test included in the book and was not surprised to find that I am an Upholder (someone who is characterized by self-discipline and is accountable to both internal and external expectations). I had my husband Scot take the test and was surprised to learn that he is a Rebel (“don’t tell me what to do”). Upholder-Rebel combinations in a marriage are rare, but ours works best when I just let Scot do what he wants to do. With lots of practical advice on how to manage not only your own tendency, but those of those who are close to you, The Four Tendencies is a fascinating and useful read.
