Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  Gretchen Rubin

Authors:  Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, James O. Pawelski

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Psychology, Self Improvement, Happiness

343 pages, published January 16, 2018

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

Happy Together is written by Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James O. Pawelski, a husband and wife team who specialize in the field of Positive Psychology.  In their book, the Pawelski present the concept of Aristotelian love, i.e. seeing the good in your partner and being motivated by that goodness to improve yourself, as the ideal in relationships.  Happy Together focuses on develop key habits for building and sustaining long-term love by promoting a healthy passion, prioritizing positive emotions, mindfully savoring experiences together, and seeking out strengths in each other.

 

Quotes 

The PERMA model of flourishing, for example, consists of five elements of a fulfilling life.  Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.  Relationships, of course, are right at the center of PERMA.  Indeed, relationships may be the most important part of a happy and flourishing life.

 

My Take

As my friends and family are well aware, I am very interested in the topic of happiness and actively try to structure my life in a manner that will increase my happiness.  As such, I read a lot of books on the subject of happiness and was very interested in reading Happy Together after seeing it recommended by best-selling author (The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, Better than Before, The Four Tendencies) and happiness guru Gretchen Rubin (who has had a huge impact on the way I live my life).  I liked, but did not love, Happy Together.  When I read a book like this, I like to have a lot of practical tips as takeaways.  There were a few that I will try to implement.  Namely, the importance of taking time to savor positive experiences in your relationship and expressing gratitude to your partner on a regular basis with the emphasis on them.  I also liked a metaphor that the authors use of a superpower cape with a red side and a green side.  The red side helps you fix problems in your relationship while the green side helps you engage in actions that improve a relationship by creating and sustaining happiness, satisfaction and enjoyment in a relationship.  It has inspired me to try to focus on the green side of the cape!