358. Southern Lady Code

Rating:  ☆☆☆

Recommended by:   Lisa Goldberg

Author:   Helen Ellis

Genre:  Non Fiction, Essays, Humor, Memoir, Short Stories

224 pages, published April 16, 2019

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary

Southern Lady Code is a collection of 23 essays by Helen Ellis, a Southern woman living in New York City.  She takes on topics such as marriage, manners, thank-you notes, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the art of living life as a Southern Lady.

Quotes 

“One of Mama’s parenting mantras was: “Oh, Helen Michelle, I have yet to begin to embarrass you.”

 

“If you don’t know what to do with the rest of your life, make your bed. If you’re going to be a couch potato, at least fluff the pillows. If you can’t afford pearls, red nail polish is your best accessory. If you don’t have time to do your nails, smile and stand up straight.”

 

“Mama says, ” Helen Michelle, a lot of women have trouble saying no and then find themselves in worse situations because they were afraid of being rude. So, if you have trouble saying no, say ‘No, thank you.’ Let’s practice.”

 

“No fairy tale begins: “Once upon a time, he blindfolded me in the back of a car.” No fantasy suite has another woman’s hair clogging the drains. A suitcase full of gowns doesn’t make you a princess. Be careful what you wish for, Cinderella’s house was infested with mice. If a man doesn’t kiss you, he doesn’t want to kiss you. If a man doesn’t kiss you on the mouth, he doesn’t find you attractive. A fist bump is not a kiss. An ass pat is not a kiss. Don’t trust a man who keeps your kisses a secret.”

 

“Because it turns out, “If it happens, it happens” is Southern Lady Code for we don’t want kids.” 

My Take

A fun, fluffy diversion.  I especially enjoyed the story of how the author’s parents staged a home invasion when she was a teenager as a party trick to see what she and her friends remembered.