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70. Stories I Tell My Friends

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Rob Lowe

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Memoir, Movies

320 pages, published April 26, 2011

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

Stories I Tell My Friends is Rob Lowe’s memoir in which he tells stories about his fascinating life.  Lowe recounts the pain of his parents’ divorce as a child from the Midwest and tells how his life shifted when his mother moved to a counterculture Malibu of the mid-seventies where his neighbors and friends were Charlie Sheen, Emilio Estevez, and Sean Penn.  After he was cast in Francis Ford Coppola’s The Outsiders, Lowe soon became a teen idol and a member of the Brat Pack.  Lowe went on to a movie career with lots of ups and downs, moving to television when was cast as speechwriter Sam Seaborn in the iconic series The West Wing.

Quotes

“So I came to the realization: Nothing in life is unfair. It’s just life.”

 

“Fake confidence on the outside often trumps truthful turmoil on the inside.”

 

“The best part is not the biggest, it’s the one that’s most memorable.”

 

“They don’t really listen to speeches or talks. They absorb incrementally, through hours and hours of observation. The sad truth about divorce is that it’s hard to teach your kids about life unless you are living life with them: eating together, doing homework, watching Little League, driving them around endlessly, being bored with nothing to do, letting them listen while you do business, while you negotiate love and the frustrations and complications and rewards of living day in and out with your wife. Through this, they see how adults handle responsibility, honesty, commitment, jealousy, anger, professional pressures, and social interactions. Kids learn from whoever is around them the most.”

 

“I’m thinking of how unexpected and yet oddly preordained life can be. Events are upon you in an instant, unforseen and without warning, and often times marked with disappointment and tragedy, but equally often leading to a better understanding of the bittersweet truth of life.”

 

“To be counter to the culture, you are by definition willfully and actively ignoring the culture, i.e., reality. And when you ignore reality for too long, you begin to feel immune to, or above, the gravitational pull that binds everyone else. You are courting disaster.”

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68. Mr. Mercedes

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Stephen King

Genre:  Fiction, Crime, Thriller, Suspense

436 pages, published June 3, 2014

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

Mr. Mercedes, the first book in the Bill Hodges Trilogy by Stephen King, tells the story of a psychopathic serial killer nicknamed Mr. Mercedes after he intentionally plows through a crowd of people waiting for an unemployment fair to begin in a stolen Mercedes.  He escapes after killing eight people and wounding fifteen more.  Months later, retired cop Bill Hodges, who is still haunted by this unsolved crime, receives a crazed letter from someone who self-identifies as the “perk” and threatens more attacks.  Hodges takes the bait and starts conversing with Mr. Mercedes.  It soon becomes apparent that only Bill Hodges, with a couple of highly unlikely allies, can apprehend the killer before he strikes again in a bigger way.

Quotes

“Never tell a lie when you can tell the truth.”

 

“Every religion lies. Every moral precept is a delusion. Even the stars are a mirage. The truth is darkness, and the only thing that matters is making a statement before one enters it. Cutting the skin of the world and leaving a scar. That’s all history is, after all: scar tissue.”

 

“Hodges has read there are wells in Iceland so deep you can drop a stone down them and never hear the splash. He thinks some human souls are like that.”

 

“It’s easy—too easy—to either disbelieve or disregard someone you dislike.”

 

“Imagination is a good servant, and a bad master.”

 

“You know the three Ages of Man, don’t you?” Hodges asks. Pete shakes his head, grinning. “Youth, middle age, and you look fuckin terrific.”

 

“Any system created by the mind of man can be hacked by the mind of man.”

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65. Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Atul Gawande

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Medicine, Health, Public Policy

282 pages, published October 7, 2014

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

In Being Mortal, Gawande, a practicing surgeon, tackles the difficult issue of how medicine can not only improve life but also death.  While modern medicine has made amazing advances in the past few decades, it is still challenged when dealing with end of life issues where the interests of human spirit and dignity are often inadequately considered.  Nursing homes, preoccupied with safety, pin patients into railed beds and wheelchairs. Doctors, committed to extending life, often impose devastating procedures that may extend the quantity of life, but also severely impact the quality.  Gawande argues that quality of life is the desired goal for patients and families and offers examples of better models for assisting the infirm and dependent elderly.  He also explores hospice and shows that a person’s last weeks or months may be rich and dignified.

Quotes

“In the end, people don’t view their life as merely the average of all its moments—which, after all, is mostly nothing much plus some sleep. For human beings, life is meaningful because it is a story. A story has a sense of a whole, and its arc is determined by the significant moments, the ones where something happens. Measurements of people’s minute-by-minute levels of pleasure and pain miss this fundamental aspect of human existence.  A seemingly happy life may be empty.  A seemingly difficult life may be devoted to a great cause. We have purposes larger than ourselves.  We have purposes larger than ourselves. Unlike your experiencing self—which is absorbed in the moment—your remembering self is attempting to recognize not only the peaks of joy and valleys of misery but also how the story works out as a whole. That is profoundly affected by how things ultimately turn out. Why would a football fan let a few flubbed minutes at the end of the game ruin three hours of bliss?  Because a football game is a story.  And in stories, endings matter.”

“Death is the enemy. But the enemy has superior forces. Eventually, it wins. And in a war that you cannot win, you don’t want a general who fights to the point of total annihilation. You don’t want Custer. You want Robert E. Lee, someone who knows how to fight for territory that can be won and how to surrender it when it can’t, someone who understands that the damage is greatest if all you do is battle to the bitter end.”

 

“Our ultimate goal, after all, is not a good death but a good life to the very end.”

 

“It is not death that the very old tell me they fear. It is what happens short of death—losing their hearing, their memory, their best friends, their way of life. As Felix put it to me, “Old age is a continuous series of losses.” Philip Roth put it more bitterly in his novel Everyman: “Old age is not a battle. Old age is a massacre.”

 

“Modernization did not demote the elderly. It demoted the family. It gave people—the young and the old—a way of life with more liberty and control, including the liberty to be less beholden to other generations. The veneration of elders may be gone, but not because it has been replaced by veneration of youth. It’s been replaced by veneration of the independent self.”

 

“Being mortal is about the struggle to cope with the constraints of our biology, with the limits set by genes and cells and flesh and bone. Medical science has given us remarkable power to push against these limits, and the potential value of this power was a central reason I became a doctor. But again and again, I have seen the damage we in medicine do when we fail to acknowledge that such power is finite and always will be. We’ve been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really it is larger than that. It is to enable well-being. And well-being is about the reasons one wishes to be alive. Those reasons matter not just at the end of life, or when debility comes, but all along the way. Whenever serious sickness or injury strikes and your body or mind breaks down, the vital questions are the same: What is your understanding of the situation and its potential outcomes? What are your fears and what are your hopes? What are the trade-offs you are willing to make and not willing to make? And what is the course of action that best serves this understanding?”

 

“The only way death is not meaningless is to see yourself as part of something greater: a family, a community, a society. If you don’t, mortality is only a horror. But if you do, it is not. Loyalty, said Royce, “solves the paradox of our ordinary existence by showing us outside of ourselves the cause which is to be served, and inside of ourselves the will which delights to do this service, and which is not thwarted but enriched and expressed in such service.” In more recent times, psychologists have used the term “transcendence” for a version of this idea. Above the level of self-actualization in Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, they suggest the existence in people of a transcendent desire to see and help other beings achieve their potential.”

 

“You may not control life’s circumstances, but getting to be the author of your life means getting to control what you do with them.”

 

“We’re always trotting out some story of a ninety-seven-year-old who runs marathons, as if such cases were not miracles of biological luck but reasonable expectations for all. Then, when our bodies fail to live up to this fantasy, we feel as if we somehow have something to apologize for.”

 

“A few conclusions become clear when we understand this: that our most cruel failure in how we treat the sick and the aged is the failure to recognize that they have priorities beyond merely being safe and living longer; that the chance to shape one’s story is essential to sustaining meaning in life; that we have the opportunity to refashion our institutions, our culture, and our conversations in ways that transform the possibilities for the last chapters of everyone’s lives.”

 

“The battle of being mortal is the battle to maintain the integrity of one’s life—to avoid becoming so diminished or dissipated or subjugated that who you are becomes disconnected from who you were or who you want to be.”

 

“Sometimes we can offer a cure, sometimes only a salve, sometimes not even that. But whatever we can offer, our interventions, and the risks and sacrifices they entail, are justified only if they serve the larger aims of a person’s life. When we forget that, the suffering we inflict can be barbaric. When we remember it the good we do can be breathtaking.”

 

“People with serious illness have priorities besides simply prolonging their lives. Surveys find that their top concerns include avoiding suffering, strengthening relationships with family and friends, being mentally aware, not being a burden on others, and achieving a sense that their life is complete.”

 

“Your chances of avoiding the nursing home are directly related to the number of children you have.”

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60. A Thousand Pardons

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Jonathan Dee

Genre:  Fiction

214 pages, published March 12, 2013

Reading Format:  Book

Summary 

A Thousand Pardons tells the story of the Armsteads, who were once a privileged and loving couple, but have now reached a breaking point.  Ben, a partner in a prestigious law firm, has become unpredictable at work and withdrawn at home.  When Ben’s recklessness takes an alarming turn, everything the Armsteads have built together unravels, swiftly and spectacularly. Forced by necessity to go back to work, Helen finds a job in public relations and relocates with her adopted daughter Sara from their home in upstate New York to an apartment in Manhattan.  There, Helen discovers she has a rare gift which becomes indispensable in the world of image control:  She can convince arrogant men to publicly admit their mistakes which yields incredible results. Yet redemption is more easily granted in her professional life than in her personal one.  As she is confronted with the biggest case of her career, the fallout from her marriage, and Sara’s increasingly distant behavior, Helen must face the limits of accountability and her own capacity for forgiveness.

 

Quotes

“Have you ever been so bored by yourself that you are literally terrified? That is what it’s like for me every day. That is what it’s like for me sitting here, right now, right this second. It’s like a fucking death sentence, coming back to that house every night. I mean, no offense.”

“No offense?” Helen said. “It’s not that Helen herself is especially boring, I don’t mean that, or that some other woman might be more or less boring. It’s the situation. It’s the setup. It’s not you per se.”

 

“at some point, forgot to find anything else to want from life, and this had turned her into a boring person, a burden, a part of the upkeep, and she might have floated along mindlessly like that forever […] were it not for the fact that her lack of inner resources had driven her husband insane.”

 

“People are quick to judge,” she tells him, and “they are quick to condemn, but that’s mostly because their ultimate desire is to forgive.”

 

“They were at the very bloom of everything for which they felt destined and everything that others would begrudge them.”

 

“All that survived of his old life was the disgrace of its end, and there was something almost comfortable about that disgrace, about the burden of it; it seemed to be what he’d been courting all along.”

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57. Joyland

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Stephen King

Genre:  Fiction, Thiller

283 pages, published June 4, 2013

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

Joyland takes place in 1973 at a North Carolina amusement park which was the site of a vicious murder of a young woman in the “Haunted House.”  Devin Jones, a student at the University of New Hampshire, takes a summer job at Joyland in North Carolina and is told by the resident fortune teller that he will meet two children that summer, a girl with a red hat and a boy with a dog, and that one of them has The Sight.  Jones becomes close to Annie, a single mother, and her disabled son Mike.  Devin finds that he has a talent for “wearing the fur,” Joyland-talk for portraying Howie the Happy Hound, Joyland’s mascot.  One day, he saves a young girl in a red hat from choking on a park hot dog.  Devin later discovers that Mike is the child with “The Sight.”  Devin and his friends start investigating a string of unsolved murders that they believe are related to the Joyland murder.  It all comes together on a dark and stormy night at Joyland.

Quotes

“When it comes to the past, everyone writes fiction.”

 

“This is a badly broken world, full of wars and cruelty and senseless tragedy.  Every human being who inhabits it is served his or her portion of unhappiness and wake up nights.”

 

“All I can say is what you already know: some days are treasure. Not many, but I think in almost every life there are a few. That was one of mine, and when I’m blue — when life comes down on me and everything looks tawdry and cheap, the way Joyland Avenue did on a rainy day — I go back to it, if only to remind myself that life isn’t always a butcher’s game. Sometimes the prizes are real.  Sometimes they are precious.”

 

“I’m not sure anybody ever gets completely over their first love, and that still rankles.  Part of me still wants to know what was wrong with me.  What I was lacking.”

 

“When you’re twenty-one, life is a roadmap. It’s only when you get to be twenty-five or so that you begin to suspect that you’ve been looking at the map upside down, and not until you’re forty are you entirely sure. By the time you’re sixty, take it from me, you’re fucking lost.”

 

“My father had taught me – mostly by example – that if a man wanted to be in charge of his life, he had to be in charge of his problems.”

 

“The last good time always comes, and when you see the darkness creeping toward you, you hold on to what was bright and good. You hold on for dear life.”

 

“Young women and young men grow up, but old women and old men just grow older and surer they’ve got right on their side.”

 

“Pops gave him a cool stare that settled Tom down – a thing not always easy to do. “Son, do you know what history is?”  “Uh…stuff that happened in the past?”  “Nope,” he said, trying on his canvas change-belt. “History is the collective and ancestral shit of the human race, a great big and ever growing pile of crap.  Right now, we’re standin at the top of it, but pretty soon we’ll be buried under the doodoo of generations yet to come.  That’s why your folks’ clothes look so funny in old photographs, to name but a single example.  And, as someone who’s destined to buried beneath the shit of your children and grandchildren, I think you should be just a leetle more forgiving.”

 

“We could see other fires–great leaping bonfires as well as cooking fires–all the way down the beach to the twinkling metropolis of Joyland. They made a lovely chain of burning jewelry.  Such fires are probably illegal in the twenty-first century; the powers that be have a way of outlawing many beautiful things made by ordinary people.  I don’t know why that should be, I only know it is.”

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55. The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Charles Duhigg

Genre:  Non Fiction, Self Improvement

286 pages, published February 28, 2012

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

In The Power of Habit, New York Times business reporter Charles Duhigg explains why habits exist and how they can be changed by seeking to understanding human nature and its potential for transformation.   The key to exercising regularly, losing weight, raising exceptional children, becoming more productive, building revolutionary companies and social movements, and achieving success is understanding that habits work through a Habit Loop, a neurological pattern that governs any habit.  It consists of three elements: a cue, a routine, and a reward.  Duhigg also looks at how implementing so-called keystone habits can earn billions and mean the difference between failure and success, life and death.  He show us that the right habits were essential to the success of Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

Quotes

“Change might not be fast and it isn’t always easy. But with time and effort, almost any habit can be reshaped.”

 

“Small wins are a steady application of a small advantage.”

 

 “Typically, people who exercise, start eating better and become more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family.  They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed.  Exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change.”

 

“Self-discipline predicted academic performance more robustly than did IQ. Self-discipline also predicted which students would improve their grades over the course of the school year, whereas IQ did not.… Self-discipline has a bigger effect on academic performance than does intellectual talent.”

 

“Willpower isn’t just a skill. It’s a muscle, like the muscles in your arms or legs, and it gets tired as it works harder, so there’s less power left over for other things.”

 

“As people strengthened their willpower muscles in one part of their lives—in the gym, or a money management program—that strength spilled over into what they ate or how hard they worked. Once willpower became stronger, it touched everything.”

 

“Champions don’t do extraordinary things. They do ordinary things, but they do them without thinking, too fast for the other team to react. They follow the habits they’ve learned.”

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51. The Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Shonda Rhimes

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Memoir, Self-Improvement

336 pages, published November 10, 2015

Reading Format:  Audio Book

Summary 

On Thanksgiving Day, 2013, Shonda Rhymes, the uber-talented and successful creator of Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, How to Get Away With Murder, told her sister about some amazing invitations that she had received.  Her sister’s response, “Who cares?  You’re just going to say no anyway.  You never say yes to anything,” touched a nerve in Shonda and forced her to re-examine her approach to life.  She then decided to start saying yes, even when it scared her and took her far outside of her comfort zone.  The results were incredible.  She shared a box at the Kennedy Center with President Obama and the First Lady, posed for magazine covers, gave a commencement speech at her alma matter Dartmouth College, stopped everything when her children wanted to play, and most impressively, lost over 120 pounds.

 

Quotes

“Lucky implies I didn’t do anything. Lucky implies something was given to me. Lucky implies that I was handed something I did not earn, that I did not work hard for. Gentle reader, may you never be lucky. I am not lucky. You know what I am?  I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard.  Don’t call me lucky.  Call me a badass.”

 

“Losing yourself does not happen all at once.  Losing yourself happens one no at a time.”

 

“You can quit a job. I can’t quit being a mother. I’m a mother forever.  Mothers are never off the clock, mothers are never on vacation. Being a mother redefines us, reinvents us, destroys and rebuilds us. Being a mother brings us face-to-face with ourselves as children, with our mothers as human beings, with our darkest fears of who we really are.  Being a mother requires us to get it together or risk messing up another person forever.  Being a mother yanks our hearts out of our bodies and attaches them to our tiny humans and sends them out into the world, forever hostages.”

 

“You know what happens when all of your dreams come true? Nothing. I realized a very simple truth: that success, fame, having all my dreams come true would not fix or improve me, it wasn’t an instant potion for personal growth.”

 

“You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn’t have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring, and dreams are not real. Just . . . DO.”

 

“They tell you:  Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don’t stop dreaming until your dream comes true.  I think that’s crap.  I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, powerful, engaged people?  Are busy doing.”

 

“There is no list of rules. There is one rule. The rule is: there are no rules. Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be. Being traditional is not traditional anymore. It’s funny that we still think of it that way. Normalize your lives, people. You don’t want a baby? Don’t have one. I don’t want to get married? I won’t. You want to live alone? Enjoy it. You want to love someone? Love someone. Don’t apologize. Don’t explain. Don’t ever feel less than. When you feel the need to apologize or explain who you are, it means the voice in your head is telling you the wrong story. Wipe the slate clean. And rewrite it. No fairy tales. Be your own narrator. And go for a happy ending. One foot in front of the other. You will make it.”

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43. The Girl You Left Behind

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:   

Author:   Jojo Moyes

Genre:  Fiction, Historical Fiction, Romance

369 pages, published August 20, 2013

Reading Format:  Audio Book

 

Summary

The Girl You Left Behind tells the stories of modern day Liv Halston and early twentieth century Sophie Lefevre and how their lives intersect through a portrait of Sophie.  In 1916, French artist Edouard Lefevre leaves his wife Sophie to fight for France in World War I.  When her town falls into German hands, his portrait of Sophie stirs the heart of the local Kommandant and causes Sophie to risk everything – her family, reputation and life—in the hope of seeing Edouard, her true love, one last time.  Nearly a century later and Sophie’s portrait is given to Liv by her young husband shortly before his sudden death.  Its beauty speaks of their short life together, but when the painting’s dark and passion-torn history is revealed, Liv must make a momentous decision about the thing she loves most.

 

Quotes

“the ability to earn a living by doing the thing one loves must be one of life’s greatest gifts.”

 

“I wanted to live as Edouard did, joyfully, sucking the marrow out of every moment and singing because it tasted so good.”

 

“Do you know how it feels to resign yourself to your fate? It is almost welcome. There was to be no more pain, no more fear, no more longing. It is the death of hope that comes as the greatest relief.”

 

“I know it’s been tough. But we’re terribly proud of you, you know.” “For what?” She says blowing her nose. “I failed, Dad. Most people think I shouldn’t have even tried.” “Just for carrying on, really. Sometimes, my darling girl, that’s heroic in itself.”

 

“I thought the world had actually ended. I thought nothing good could ever happen again. I thought anything might happen if I wasn’t vigilant. I didn’t eat. I didn’t go out. I didn’t want to see anyone. But I survived, Paul. Much to my own surprise, I got through it. And life…well, gradually became livable again.”

My Take

The Girl You Left Behind is the third book by Jojo Moyes that I read this year (the first two were After You and One Plus One) and it was my least favorite of the three.  However, I still liked it and recommend it (even though the voice work on the Audio Book version that I listened to sometimes detracted from the story).  While The Girl You Left Behind has a lot in common with The Nightingale in that both books involve the struggle of two sisters in war torn France, The Nightingale is the superior book.  Nevertheless, Moyes knows how to tell a gripping story and I found myself very interested in the characters and plot of The Girl You Left Behind.

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39. Life from Scratch: A Memoir of Food, Family, and Forgiveness

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by: Chris Guillebeau

Author: Sasha Martin

Genre:  Non Fiction, Memoir, Food

Info: 352 pages, published March 3, 2015

Format:  Book

Summary 

Life from Scratch is really two stories in one book. The first part of the book is a traditional memoir where Sasha Martin recounts her unconventional and difficult childhood with a free spirit, eccentric mother who had difficulty caring for Sasha and her siblings.  In the second part of the book, over the course of 195 weeks, Martin takes on the challenge of cooking and eating a meal from every country in the world.  She achieves her goal and makes peace with her mother, partially due to a shared love of creative cooking.

 

Quotes

“There are mysteries buried in the recesses of every kitchen — every crumb kicked under the floorboard is a hidden memory.  But some kitchens are made of more.  Some kitchens are everything.”

“Marcel Proust, the 20th Century novelist, knew how easy it is to bring the past to life:  When he bit into a tea-soaked madeleine, the shadows of his childhood took on color, snapping into full dimension.  If I put the right ingredients in my spice jars, I realized, they’d be portals to a bygone era.”

“And perhaps that’s been Mom’s secret all along:  her brutal common sense that slices through any and all notions of what “should” be.  From our living room kitchen back in Jamaica Plain to this global table, it’s been about getting our fill.  Not just of food, but of the intangible things we all need:  acceptance, love and understanding.”

“My first encounter with a baguette, torn still warm from its paper sheathing, shattered and sighed on contact. The sound stopped me in my tracks, the way a crackling branch gives deer pause; that’s what good crust does. Once I began to chew, the flavor unfolded, deep with yeast and salt, the warm humidity of the tender crumb almost breathing against my lips.”

“Happiness is not a destination: Being happy takes constant weeding, a tending of emotions and circumstances as they arise. There’s no happily ever after, or any one person or place that can bring happiness. It takes work to be calm in the midst of turmoil. But releasing the need to control it—well, that’s a start.”

“Once, I thought happiness was the sizzle in the pan. But it’s not. Happiness is the spice—that fragile speck, beholden to the heat, always and forever tempered by our environment.”

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38. Glitter and Glue

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by: 

Author:  Kelly Corrigan

Genre:  Non Fiction, Memoir

Info:  240 pages, published February 4, 2014

Format:  Book

Summary 

When Kelly Corrigan was a teenager, her mother summarized the family dynamic as “Your father’s the glitter, but I’m the glue.”  This concept was meaningless to Kelly at the time, but took on significance as Kelly grew older and encountered the slings and arrows of life.  Glitter and Glue recounts Corrigan’s post-college adventure working as an au pair in Australia for the Tanner family who had just lost their wife and mother. While navigating the family dynamics, Kelly started hearing her mother’s voice everywhere.  During the time she spent with the Tanner kids she started reconsidering her relationship with her mother.

 

Quotes

“When I was growing up, my mom was guided by the strong belief that to befriend me was to deny me the one thing a kid really needed to survive childhood:  a mother.”

“I want her to know that I’ll take care of her, even when it’s not pretty or easy or cheap.  Of course I will.  The mother is the most essential piece on the board, the one you must protect.  Only she has the range.  Only she can move in multiple directions.  Once she’s gone, it’s a whole different game.”  

“I had thought a good mother would not elicit such comments, but now I see that a good mother is required to somehow absorb all this ugliness and find a way to fall back in love with her child the next day.”

“The only mothers who never embarrass, harass, dismiss, discount, deceive, distort, neglect, baffle, appall, inhibit, incite, insult, or age poorly are dead mothers, perfectly contained in photographs, pressed into two dimensions like a golden autumn leaf.”

“But now I see there’s no such thing as “a” woman, “one” woman. There are dozens inside every one of them. I probably should have figured this out sooner, but what child can see the women inside her mom, what with all the Motherness blocking out everything else?”

“It’s easy to love kids who make you feel competent.”

“And it occurs to me that maybe the reason my mother was so exhausted all the time wasn’t because she was doing so much but because she was feeling so much.”

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