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219. Republican Like Me: A Lifelong Democrat’s Journey Across the Aisle

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  Mike Brady

Author:  Ken Stern

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Politics, Public Policy

288 pages, published October 24, 2017

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

In Republican Like Me, Ken Stern, a former CEO of National Public Radio and card carrying Liberal, takes a year to  crisscross the country in an attempt to better understand what makes  Republicans tick.  He spent a good deal of time listening, talking, and praying with Republicans from all corners, neocons to traditionalists, fiscal conservatives to social conservatives, moderates to libertarians.  He considers the issues that divide and provoke the left and right:  immigration, gun control, abortion, the environment and global warming, elitism and the establishment, the government, the “makers” and the “takers,” and attitudes toward gender and race.  He introduces the people he met and the viewpoints and opinions he heard, and examines their impact on his own long-standing views.

 

Quotes 

 

 

My Take

Many Americans are still wondering how Donald Trump was elected President.  Much like J.V. Vance in Hillbilly Elegy (which I really enjoyed), Ken Stern, the author of Republican Like Me has some answers.  Stern (a lifelong committed Democrat) looks at political issues from a Republican viewpoint and discovers that they have some good points and things are not as clear cut as he had always assumed.  He also takes on the left-wing media bias that infects our newspapers and newsrooms.  If you are interested in understanding why our country is so polarized and what can be done about it, I recommend checking out this interesting book.

 

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218. The Art of People: 11 Simple People Skills That Will Get You Everything You Want

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Author:  Dave Kerpen

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Business, Self Improvement, Psychology

288 pages, March15, 2016

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

In The Art of People, author Dave Kerpen provides straightforward, sensible advice in pithy chapters laced with relevant anecdotes.  His focus is on building relationships and truly understanding and connecting with your colleagues, customers, and partners.  He covers ideas such as:

  • The single most important question you can ever ask to win attention in a meeting
  • The one simple key to networking that nobody talks about
  • How to remain top of mind for thousands of people, everyday
  • Why it usually pays to be the one to give the bad news
  • How to blow off the right people
  • And why, when in doubt, buy him a Bonsai

 

Quotes 

“However, when you’re accountable to too many people, it’s like being accountable to no one. Thus, the best scenario is to find one accountability partner who can help you and whom you can help.”

 

“The problem with sharing accomplishments on social media (aka bragging), however, is there’s no tone or body language to help convey your meaning, and that means it’s very easy for people to lose the context and not get your intention right.”

 

“After conducting years of research on the most effective and least effective traits of leaders, Bell advised leaders to “listen like children watch TV.”

 

“People in general don’t want advice even when they ask for it. They just want to feel heard.”

 

“There’s no better way to show that you care about the person you’re meeting with than to genuinely, authentically ask her what you can do to help.”

 

“It’s not my job to teach you. It’s your job to learn. I’m just here to coach you along the way,” Doc would say to us on a typical day. He was one part teacher, one part coach, and one part cheerleader—always positive, helpful, and encouraging.”

 

“Many people are so afraid to get a “no” that they don’t ask for a “yes.” The ironic thing here is that they’re virtually guaranteeing getting a “no” by not asking for a “yes.”

 

My Take

The Art of People is a modern update of the classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, which I found to be an extremely useful book.  Like that classic how-to, The Art of People contains numerous tips and sound advice on how to interact with others in a genuine way to create win-win situations.  Some of it is common sense, but there were enough new suggestions for me to recommend this book.

 

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214. 10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Author:  Dan Harris

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement, Happiness, Psychology, Memoir, Philosophy

256 pages, published March 11, 2014

Reading Format:  Audio Book

 

Summary

10% Happier chronicles journalist Dan Harris’ journey of self discovery after having a nationally televised panic attack on Good Morning America.  Harris explores the worlds of neuroscience, meditation, and network news and comes out the other end with increased calm, focus, and happiness.

 

Quotes 

“Everything in the world is ultimately unsatisfying and unreliable because it won’t last.”

“Make the present moment your friend rather than your enemy. Because many people live habitually as if the present moment were an obstacle that they need to overcome in order to get to the next moment. And imagine living your whole life like that, where always this moment is never quite right, not good enough because you need to get to the next one. That is continuous stress.”

 

“But it was in this moment, lying in bed late at night, that I first realized that the voice in my head—the running commentary that had dominated my field of consciousness since I could remember—was kind of an asshole.”

 

“The Buddha captured it well when he said that anger, which can be so seductive at first, has “a honeyed tip” but a “poisoned root.”

 

“The ego is never satisfied. No matter how much stuff we buy, no matter how many arguments we win or delicious meals we consume, the ego never feels complete.”

 

“the Buddha’s main thesis was that in a world where everything is constantly changing, we suffer because we cling to things that won’t last.”

 

“What mindfulness does is create some space in your head so you can, as the Buddhists say, “respond” rather than simply “react.” In the Buddhist view, you can’t control what comes up in your head; it all arises out of a mysterious void. We spend a lot of time judging ourselves harshly for feelings that we had no role in summoning. The only thing you can control is how you handle it.”

 

“We live so much of our lives pushed forward by these “if only” thoughts, and yet the itch remains. The pursuit of happiness becomes the source of our unhappiness.”

 

“Don’t you ever get pissed off, annoyed, irritated, sad—anything negative?” “No, I accept what is. And that’s why life has become so simple.” “Well, what if somebody cuts you off in your car?” “It’s fine. It’s like a sudden gust of wind. I don’t personalize a gust of wind, and so it’s simply what is.”

 

“The fact that you exist is a highly statistically improbable event, and if you are not perpetually surprised by the fact that you exist you don’t deserve to be here.”

 

“Perhaps the most meaningful exchange I had on the subject was a completely random discussion with my uncle Martin at my parents’ annual summer pool party. Martin, a former entrepreneur who was now in the early stages of Alzheimer’s, turned to me and asked an intriguing question: “Which is more exciting to you? Reality or memory?” I paused, considered it, and said, “I wish I could say reality, but it’s probably memory.” And then I asked, “What about you?” At which point Martin stared blankly back at me and asked, “What was the question?”

 

“Striving is fine, as long as it’s tempered by the realization that, in an entropic universe, the final outcome is out of your control. If you don’t waste your energy on variables you cannot influence, you can focus much more effectively on those you can. When you are wisely ambitious, you do everything you can to succeed, but you are not attached to the outcome—so that if you fail, you will be maximally resilient, able to get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the fray. That, to use a loaded term, is enlightened self-interest.”

 

“There’s no point in being unhappy about things you can’t change, and no point being unhappy about things you can.”

 

“Marturano recommended something radical: do only one thing at a time. When you’re on the phone, be on the phone. When you’re in a meeting, be there. Set aside an hour to check your email, and then shut off your computer monitor and focus on the task at hand. Another tip: take short mindfulness breaks throughout the day. She called them “purposeful pauses.” So, for example, instead of fidgeting or tapping your fingers while your computer boots up, try to watch your breath for a few minutes. When driving, turn off the radio and feel your hands on the wheel. Or when walking between meetings, leave your phone in your pocket and just notice the sensations of your legs moving. “If I’m a corporate samurai,” I said, “I’d be a little worried about taking all these pauses that you recommend because I’d be thinking, ‘Well, my rivals aren’t pausing. They’re working all the time.’ ” “Yeah, but that assumes that those pauses aren’t helping you. Those pauses are the ways to make you a more clear thinker and for you to be more focused on what’s important.”

 

“She nailed the method for applying mindfulness in acute situations, albeit with a somewhat dopey acronym: RAIN. R: recognize A: allow I: investigate N: non-identification”

 

“When you have one foot in the future and the other in the past, you piss on the present.”

 

“Meditation is not about feeling a certain way. It’s about feeling the way you feel.”

 

My Take

I listened to the audio version of 10% Happier (read by the author) and enjoyed Dan Harris’ easygoing and honest style.  He seemed like a very decent guy and I was happy to accompany him on his quest for inner peace.  Along the way, I picked up some good happiness tips, especially on the value of meditation and the importance of living in the present moment.

 

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Happy Together: Using the Science of Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  Gretchen Rubin

Authors:  Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, James O. Pawelski

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Psychology, Self Improvement, Happiness

343 pages, published January 16, 2018

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

Happy Together is written by Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James O. Pawelski, a husband and wife team who specialize in the field of Positive Psychology.  In their book, the Pawelski present the concept of Aristotelian love, i.e. seeing the good in your partner and being motivated by that goodness to improve yourself, as the ideal in relationships.  Happy Together focuses on develop key habits for building and sustaining long-term love by promoting a healthy passion, prioritizing positive emotions, mindfully savoring experiences together, and seeking out strengths in each other.

 

Quotes 

The PERMA model of flourishing, for example, consists of five elements of a fulfilling life.  Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment.  Relationships, of course, are right at the center of PERMA.  Indeed, relationships may be the most important part of a happy and flourishing life.

 

My Take

As my friends and family are well aware, I am very interested in the topic of happiness and actively try to structure my life in a manner that will increase my happiness.  As such, I read a lot of books on the subject of happiness and was very interested in reading Happy Together after seeing it recommended by best-selling author (The Happiness Project, Happier at Home, Better than Before, The Four Tendencies) and happiness guru Gretchen Rubin (who has had a huge impact on the way I live my life).  I liked, but did not love, Happy Together.  When I read a book like this, I like to have a lot of practical tips as takeaways.  There were a few that I will try to implement.  Namely, the importance of taking time to savor positive experiences in your relationship and expressing gratitude to your partner on a regular basis with the emphasis on them.  I also liked a metaphor that the authors use of a superpower cape with a red side and a green side.  The red side helps you fix problems in your relationship while the green side helps you engage in actions that improve a relationship by creating and sustaining happiness, satisfaction and enjoyment in a relationship.  It has inspired me to try to focus on the green side of the cape!

 

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212. Pandemic

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  Scott Nelson

Author:  Sonia Shah

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Science, Health, Medicine, History, Public Policy

288 pages, published February 16, 2016

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

Pandemic recounts the history of pandemics in the world with particular focus on the nature and spread of cholera, Ebola, SARS and AIDS.  It then explores the decline in animal species and spread of animals to all corners of the world and how that can lead to increased risk for human populations, what types of pathogens are likely to cause a global pandemic in the near future and what we can do to prevent it.

 

Quotes 

“In the nineteenth century, cholera struck the most modern, prosperous cities in the world, killing rich and poor alike, from Paris and London to New York City and New Orleans. In 1836, it felled King Charles X in Italy; in 1849, President James Polk in New Orleans; in 1893, the composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in St. Petersburg.”

 

“But far from being a harmless source of fertilizer, dog feces is both an environmental contaminant (and is classified as such by the Environmental Protection Agency) and a source of pathogens that can infect people. Like human excreta, dog poo teems with pathogenic microbes, such as strains of E. coli, roundworms, and other parasites. One of the most common parasitic infections in Americans is the result of their exposure to dog feces. The dog roundworm Toxocara canis is common in dogs and, because of the ubiquity of dog feces, widespread in the environment. It can contaminate soil and water for years.”

 

“the global bonfire of fossil fuels will heighten the likelihood of pandemics on its own, in a way that is likely to be even more consequential than all of its contributing factors put together.”

 

“Globally, 12 percent of bird species, 23 percent of mammals, and 32 percent of amphibians are at risk of extinction. Since 1970, global populations of these creatures have declined by nearly 30 percent. Just how these losses will shift the distribution of microbes between and across species, pushing some over the threshold, remains to be seen.”

 

“As avian diversity declined in the United States, specialist species like woodpeckers and rails disappeared, while generalist species like American robins and crows boomed. (Populations of American robins have grown by 50 to 100 percent over the past twenty-five years.)48 This reordering of the composition of the local bird population steadily increased the chances that the virus would reach a high enough concentration to spill over into humans.”

 

“a single opossum, through grooming, destroyed nearly six thousand ticks a week.”

 

My Take

Pandemic is a fascinating, but chilling, read.  While human beings have largely conquered many ravaging diseases of the past (small pox, typhus, polio), we are still at risk from old and new diseases, especially in our global age where air travel can quickly spread a disease from its point of origin to all corners of the globe.  I also found the discussion of animal sources of disease to be intriguing.  Another reason not to have a dog or cat!

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210. You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me

Rating:  ☆☆1/2

Author:  Sherman Alexie

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Memoir

457 pages, published June 13, 2017

Reading Format:  Audio Book

 

Summary

You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me is the book that well known Native American author Sherman Alexie wrote after his mother’s death.  As he reveals in the book, he had a complicated relationship with his mother who could be alternatively kind and cruel.  Alexie also has a complicated relationship with his fellow Native Americans which he also explores.

 

Quotes 

“What about me?” I asked. “Am I mean?” “You aren’t mean to me with words,” she said. “You’re mean to me with your silences.”

 

“But a person can be genocided-can have every connection to his past severed- and live to be an old man whose rib cage is a haunted house built around his heart.”

 

“I TEND TO believe in government because it was the U.S. government that paid for my brain surgery when I was five months old and provided USDA food so I wouldn’t starve during my poverty-crushed reservation childhood and built the HUD house that kept us warm and gave me scholarship money for the college education that freed me. Of course, the government only gave me all of that good shit because they completely fucked over my great-grandparents and grandparents but, you know, at least some official white folks keep some of their promises.”

 

“An Indian’s wealth   Is determined by what they lose And not by what they save.”

 

“Scholars talk about the endless cycle of poverty and racism and classism and crime. But I don’t see it as a cycle, as a circle. I see it as a locked room filled with the people who share my DNA. This room has recently been set afire and there’s only one escape hatch, ten feet off the ground. And I know I have to build a ladder out of the bones of my fallen family in order to climb to safety.

 

“I don’t recall the moment when I officially became a storyteller—a talented liar—but here I must quote Simon Ortiz, the Acoma Pueblo writer, who said, “Listen. If it’s fiction, then it better be true.”

 

“My parents sold blood for money to buy food. Poverty was our spirit animal.”

 

“I cannot defeat cancer. Nobody defeats cancer. There is no winning or losing. There is no surviving or not surviving. There are only coin flips: heads or tails; benign or malignant; weight loss or bloating; morphine or oxycodone; extreme rescue efforts or Do Not Resuscitate; live or die.”

 

My Take

I decided to read You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me largely based the graphi nove that Sherman Alexie wrote about his childhood and teenage years:  The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian.  I really enjoyed that clever, engaging and touching book and had high hopes for this one.  Unfortunately, I was disappointed.  In You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me, Alexie spends a lot of his time wallowing, blaming and casting aspersions.  I also found the book  to be relentlessly repetitive, a construct that did not work for me.  The upside is that I did learn about Native American culture in the modern world, an area I knew little about.  If that could have been done in a less negative manner, I think I would have enjoyed this book more.

 

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209. Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆1/2

Author:   Yuval Noah Harari

Genre:  Non-Fiction, History, Anthropology, Science, Philosophy

443 pages, published 2011

Reading Format:  Audio Book

 

Summary

In Sapiens, Dr. Yuval Noah Harari tells the story of the whole of human history, from the very first humans to walk the earth to the breakthroughs of the Cognitive, Agricultural and Scientific and Information Revolutions.  Looking at the world through the lens of biology, science, anthropology, paleontology, conquest, sociology and economics, Harari explores how history has shaped our human societies, the animals and plants around us, and even our personalities.

 

Quotes 

“How do you cause people to believe in an imagined order such as Christianity, democracy or capitalism? First, you never admit that the order is imagined.”

 

“Culture tends to argue that it forbids only that which is unnatural. But from a biological perspective, nothing is unnatural. Whatever is possible is by definition also natural. A truly unnatural behaviour, one that goes against the laws of nature, simply cannot exist, so it would need no prohibition.”

 

“History is something that very few people have been doing while everyone else was ploughing fields and carrying water buckets.”

 

“Sapiens can cooperate in extremely flexible ways with countless numbers of strangers. That’s why Sapiens rule the world, whereas ants eat our leftovers and chimps are locked up in zoos and research laboratories.”

 

“The romantic contrast between modern industry that “destroys nature” and our ancestors who “lived in harmony with nature” is groundless. Long before the Industrial Revolution, Homo sapiens held the record among all organisms for driving the most plant and animal species to their extinctions. We have the dubious distinction of being the deadliest species in the annals of life.”

 

“You could never convince a monkey to give you a banana by promising him limitless bananas after death in monkey heaven.”

 

“One of history’s few iron laws is that luxuries tend to become necessities and to spawn new obligations.”

 

“People easily understand that ‘primitives’ cement their social order by believing in ghosts and spirits, and gathering each full moon to dance together around the campfire. What we fail to appreciate is that our modern institutions function on exactly the same basis.”

 

“Two Catholics who have never met can nevertheless go together on crusade or pool funds to build a hospital because they both believe that God was incarnated in human flesh and allowed Himself to be crucified to redeem our sins. States are rooted in common national myths. Two Serbs who have never met might risk their lives to save one another because both believe in the existence of the Serbian nation, the Serbian homeland and the Serbian flag. Judicial systems are rooted in common legal myths. Two lawyers who have never met can nevertheless combine efforts to defend a complete stranger because they both believe in the existence of laws, justice, human rights – and the money paid out in fees. Yet none of these things exists outside the stories that people invent and tell one another. There are no gods in the universe, no nations, no money, no human rights, no laws, and no justice outside the common imagination of human beings.”

 

“A meaningful life can be extremely satisfying even in the midst of hardship, whereas a meaningless life is a terrible ordeal no matter how comfortable it is.”

 

“This is the essence of the Agricultural Revolution: the ability to keep more people alive under worse conditions.”

 

“Hunter-gatherers spent their time in more stimulating and varied ways, and were less in danger of starvation and disease. The Agricultural Revolution certainly enlarged the sum total of food at the disposal of humankind, but the extra food did not translate into a better diet or more leisure. Rather, it translated into population explosions and pampered elites. The average farmer worked harder than the average forager, and got a worse diet in return. The Agricultural Revolution was history’s biggest fraud.2 Who was responsible? Neither kings, nor priests, nor merchants. The culprits were a handful of plant species, including wheat, rice and potatoes. These plants domesticated Homo sapiens, rather than vice versa.”

 

“We did not domesticate wheat. It domesticated us.”

 

“The capitalist and consumerist ethics are two sides of the same coin, a merger of two commandments. The supreme commandment of the rich is ‘Invest!’ The supreme commandment of the rest of us is ‘Buy!’ The capitalist–consumerist ethic is revolutionary in another respect. Most previous ethical systems presented people with a pretty tough deal. They were promised paradise, but only if they cultivated compassion and tolerance, overcame craving and anger, and restrained their selfish interests. This was too tough for most. The history of ethics is a sad tale of wonderful ideals that nobody can live up to. Most Christians did not imitate Christ, most Buddhists failed to follow Buddha, and most Confucians would have caused Confucius a temper tantrum. In contrast, most people today successfully live up to the capitalist–consumerist ideal. The new ethic promises paradise on condition that the rich remain greedy and spend their time making more money and that the masses give free reign to their cravings and passions and buy more and more. This is the first religion in history whose followers actually do what they are asked to do. How though do we know that we’ll really get paradise in return? We’ve seen it on television.”

 

“money is the most universal and most efficient system of mutual trust ever devised.”

 

“Obesity is a double victory for consumerism. Instead of eating little, which will lead to economic contraction, people eat too much and then buy diet products – contributing to economic growth twice over.”

 

“How many young college graduates have taken demanding jobs in high-powered firms, vowing that they will work hard to earn money that will enable them to retire and pursue their real interests when they are thirty-five? But by the time they reach that age, they have large mortgages, children to school, houses in the suburbs that necessitate at least two cars per family, and a sense that life is not worth living without really good wine and expensive holidays abroad. What are they supposed to do, go back to digging up roots? No, they double their efforts and keep slaving away.”

 

“Ever since the Cognitive Revolution, Sapiens have thus been living in a dual reality. On the one hand, the objective reality of rivers, trees and lions; and on the other hand, the imagined reality of gods, nations and corporations. As time went by, the imagined reality became ever more powerful, so that today the very survival of rivers, trees and lions depends on the grace of imagined entities such as the United States and Google.”

 

“Large numbers of strangers can cooperate successfully by believing in common myths. Any large-scale human cooperation – whether a modern state, a medieval church, an ancient city or an archaic tribe – is rooted in common myths that exist only in people’s collective imagination.”

 

“happiness does not really depend on objective conditions of either wealth, health or even community. Rather, it depends on the correlation between objective conditions and subjective expectations.”

 

“Hierarchies serve an important function. They enable complete strangers to know how to treat one another without wasting the time and energy needed to become personally acquainted.”

 

“Voltaire said about God that ‘there is no God, but don’t tell that to my servant, lest he murder me at night’. Hammurabi would have said the same about his principle of hierarchy, and Thomas Jefferson about human rights. Homo sapiens has no natural rights, just as spiders, hyenas and chimpanzees have no natural rights. But don’t tell that to our servants, lest they murder us at night.”

 

“According to Buddhism, the root of suffering is neither the feeling of pain nor of sadness nor even of meaninglessness. Rather, the real root of suffering is this never-ending and pointless pursuit of ephemeral feelings, which causes us to be in a constant state of tension, restlessness and dissatisfaction. Due to this pursuit, the mind is never satisfied. Even when experiencing pleasure, it is not content, because it fears this feeling might soon disappear, and craves that this feeling should stay and intensify. People are liberated from suffering not when they experience this or that fleeting pleasure, but rather when they understand the impermanent nature of all their feelings, and stop craving them. This is the aim of Buddhist meditation practices. In meditation, you are supposed to closely observe your mind and body, witness the ceaseless arising and passing of all your feelings, and realise how pointless it is to pursue them. When the pursuit stops, the mind becomes very relaxed, clear and satisfied. All kinds of feelings go on arising and passing – joy, anger, boredom, lust – but once you stop craving particular feelings, you can just accept them for what they are. You live in the present moment instead of fantasising about what might have been. The resulting serenity is so profound that those who spend their lives in the frenzied pursuit of pleasant feelings can hardly imagine it. It is like a man standing for decades on the seashore, embracing certain ‘good’ waves and trying to prevent them from disintegrating, while simultaneously pushing back ‘bad’ waves to prevent them from getting near him. Day in, day out, the man stands on the beach, driving himself crazy with this fruitless exercise. Eventually, he sits down on the sand and just allows the waves to come and go as they please. How peaceful!”

 

“Domesticated chickens and cattle may well be an evolutionary success story, but they are also among the most miserable creatures that ever lived. The domestication of animals was founded on a series of brutal practices that only became crueller with the passing of the centuries.”

 

“most cherished desires of present-day Westerners are shaped by romantic, nationalist, capitalist and humanist myths that have been around for centuries. Friends giving advice often tell each other, ‘Follow your heart.’ But the heart is a double agent that usually takes its instructions from the dominant myths of the day, and the very recommendation to ‘follow your heart’ was implanted in our minds by a combination of nineteenth-century Romantic myths and twentieth-century consumerist myths. The Coca-Cola Company, for example, has marketed Diet Coke around the world under the slogan ‘Diet Coke. Do what feels good.’ Even what people take to be their most personal desires are usually programmed by the imagined order. Let’s consider, for example, the popular desire to take a holiday abroad. There is nothing natural or obvious about this. A chimpanzee alpha male would never think of using his power in order to go on holiday into the territory of a neighbouring chimpanzee band. The elite of ancient Egypt spent their fortunes building pyramids and having their corpses mummified, but none of them thought of going shopping in Babylon or taking a skiing holiday in Phoenicia. People today spend a great deal of money on holidays abroad because they are true believers in the myths of romantic consumerism. Romanticism tells us that in order to make the most of our human potential we must have as many different experiences as we can. We must open ourselves to a wide spectrum of emotions; we must sample various kinds of relationships; we must try different cuisines; we must learn to appreciate different styles of music. One of the best ways to do all that is to break free from our daily routine, leave behind our familiar setting, and go travelling in distant lands, where we can ‘experience’ the culture, the smells, the tastes and the norms of other people. We hear again and again the romantic myths about ‘how a new experience opened my eyes and changed my life’. Consumerism tells us that in order to be happy we must consume as many products and services as possible.

 

My Take

To call this book fascinating is an understatement.  Harari has a unique take on how Homo Sapiens evolved and ended up ruling the world.  For example, he credits the power of storytelling for humans’ abilities to cooperate with each other.  When we tell each other a story such as a corporation is something that actually exists, people invest in that corporation, work for that corporation, and recognize the existence of that corporation in myriad other ways.  Also interesting is Harari’s discussion of the importance of money and credit to human advancement.  Without those two factious constructs, we would still be stuck in a pre-industrial age.  As an additional note, I read the sequel to this book, Homo Deus, last year and it is also terrific.  While Sapiens discusses the history of mankind, Homo Deus is all about our future.

 

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208. Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆1/2

Author:   Simon Sinek

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Psychology, Business, Self Improvement

256 pages, published October 29, 2009

Reading Format:  Audio Book on Hoopla

 

Summary

In his bestselling book Start with Why, Simon Sinek explores the question of why  some people and organizations are more innovative, influential, and profitable than others.   Why do some command greater loyalty from both their customers and employees? Why are so few able to repeat their success continuously?  Sinek answers these questions by developing the thesis that successful people and organizations start with “why” rather than “what” or “how.”  Why is not money or profit; those are always results.  Why does your organization exist?  Why does it do the things it does?  Why do customers really buy from one company or another?  Why are people loyal to some leaders, but not others?  As evidentiary support for his idea, Sinek profiles individuals Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs, Gandhi and the Wright Brothers and organizations Apple, Starbucks, and Southwest Airlines.

 

Quotes 

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe.”

 

“Leadership requires two things: a vision of the world that does not yet exist and the ability to communicate it.”

 

“There are only two ways to influence human behavior: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.

 

“Very few people or companies can clearly articulate WHY they do WHAT they do. By WHY I mean your purpose, cause or belief – WHY does your company exist? WHY do you get out of bed every morning? And WHY should anyone care?”

 

“We are drawn to leaders and organizations that are good at communicating what they believe. Their ability to make us feel like we belong, to make us feel special, safe and not alone is part of what gives them the ability to inspire us.”

 

“For values or guiding principles to be truly effective they have to be verbs. It’s not “integrity,” it’s “always do the right thing.” It’s not “innovation,” it’s “look at the problem from a different angle.” Articulating our values as verbs gives us a clear idea – we have a clear idea of how to act in any situation.”

 

“Happy employees ensure happy customers. And happy customers ensure happy shareholders—in that order.”

 

“Leading is not the same as being the leader.  Being the leader means you hold the highest rank, either by earning it, good fortune or navigating internal politics.  Leading, however, means that others willingly follow you—not because they have to, not because they are paid to, but because they want to.”

 

“Some in management positions operate as if they are in a tree of monkeys. They make sure that everyone at the top of the tree looking down sees only smiles.  But all too often, those at the bottom looking up see only asses.”

 

“You don’t hire for skills, you hire for attitude. You can always teach skills.”

 

“Great companies don’t hire skilled people and motivate them, they hire already motivated people and inspire them.  People are either motivated or they are not.  Unless you give motivated people something to believe in, something bigger than their job to work toward, they will motivate themselves to find a new job and you’ll be stuck with whoever’s left.”

 

“Trust is maintained when values and beliefs are actively managed.  If companies do not actively work to keep clarity, discipline and consistency in balance, then trust starts to break down.”

 

“All organizations start with WHY, but only the great ones keep their WHY clear year after year.”

 

“The role of a leader is not to come up with all the great ideas. The role of a leader is to create an environment in which great ideas can happen.”

 

“When you compete against everyone else, no one wants to help you.  But when you compete against yourself, everyone wants to help you.”

 

“All organizations start with WHY, but only the great ones keep their WHY clear year after year. Those who forget WHY they were founded show up to the race every day to outdo someone else instead of to outdo themselves. The pursuit, for those who lose sight of WHY they are running the race, is for the medal or to beat someone else.”

 

“Great leaders and great organizations are good at seeing what most of us can’t see. They are good at giving us things we would never think of asking for.”

 

“Working hard for something we do not care about is called stress, working hard for something we love is called passion.”

 

“Henry Ford summed it up best. “If I had asked people what they wanted,” he said, “they would have said a faster horse.”

 

“Charisma has nothing to do with energy; it comes from a clarity of WHY. It comes from absolute conviction in an ideal bigger than oneself. Energy, in contrast, comes from a good night’s sleep or lots of caffeine. Energy can excite. But only charisma can inspire. Charisma commands loyalty. Energy does not.”

 

“Put bluntly, the struggle that so many companies have to differentiate or communicate their true value to the outside world is not a business problem, it’s a biology problem. And just like a person struggling to put her emotions into words, we rely on metaphors, imagery and analogies in an attempt to communicate how we feel. Absent the proper language to share our deep emotions, our purpose, cause or belief, we tell stories. We use symbols. We create tangible things for those who believe what we believe to point to and say, “That’s why I’m inspired.” If done properly, that’s what marketing, branding and products and services become; a way for organizations to communicate to the outside world. Communicate clearly and you shall be understood.”

 

“If the leader of the organization can’t clearly articulate WHY the organization exists in terms beyond its products or services, then how does he expect the employees to know WHY to come to work?”

 

“There are only two ways to influence human behavior: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.”

 

“Studies show that over 80 percent of Americans do not have their dream job. If more knew how to build organizations that inspire, we could live in a world in which that statistic was the reverse – a world in which over 80 percent of people loved their jobs. People who love going to work are more productive and more creative. They go home happier and have happier families. They treat their colleagues and clients and customers better. Inspired employees make for stronger companies and stronger economies.”

 

“Innovation is not born from the dream, innovation is born from the struggle.”

 

My Take

Start With Why is a fascinating and inspiring book that explores how “why” we do something is so much more important than “how” or “what” we do.  While it is geared towards businesses, I found Simon Sinek’s principles translated to individuals.  We should all have a “why” in our lives, otherwise we will get to the end and wonder if our time here on earth was the most it could be.  For me, my why is “to live a full, connected and meaningful life with no regrets.”  Everything I do should flow from that “why.”  I highly recommend this book, especially if you have a business.

 

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205. Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don’t Matter

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Author:   Scott Adams

Recommended by:   Scot Reader

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Psychology, Humor

304 pages, published November 16, 2017

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

From author Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, Win Bigly is an analysis of the strategies Donald Trump used to persuade voters to elect the most unconventional candidate in the history of the presidency.  Scott Adams, a trained hypnotist and a lifelong student of persuasion, was one of the earliest public figures to predict Trump’s win, doing so a week after Nate Silver put Trump’s odds at 2 percent in his FiveThirtyEight.com blog. The mainstream media regarded Trump as a novelty and a sideshow. But Adams recognized that Trump was a master persuader.  The book isn’t about whether Trump is good or bad.  Rather, Win Bigly explores the “how” of persuasion.

 

Quotes 

“We humans like to think we are creatures of reason. We aren’t. The reality is that we make our decisions first and rationalize them later….Your illusion of being a rational person is supported by the fact that sometimes you do act rationally.”

 

“On August 13, 2015, I predicted in my blog that Donald Trump had a 98 percent chance of winning the presidency based on his persuasion skills. A week earlier, the most respected political forecaster in the United States—Nate Silver—had put Trump’s odds of winning the Republican nomination at 2 percent in his FiveThirtyEight.com blog.”

 

“Trump’s unexpected win created a persuasion bomb that no one knew how to defuse. The anti-Trumpers were locked into their Hitler movie, and confirmation bias would keep them there. It was a terrible situation for a country. And it was an enormous challenge for Trump, the Master Persuader.”

 

“A good general rule is that people are more influenced by visual persuasion, emotion, repetition, and simplicity than they are by details and facts.”

 

“When you identify as part of a group, your opinions tend to be biased toward the group consensus.”

 

“People are more influenced by the direction of things than the current state.”

 

“Humans are hardwired to reciprocate favors. If you want someone’s cooperation in the future, do something for that person today.”

 

“The things that you think about the most will irrationally rise in importance in your mind.”

 

“Persuasion is effective even when the subject recognizes the technique. Everyone knows that stores list prices at $9.99 because $10.00 sounds like too much. It still works.”

 

“Unfortunately, most people believe that analogies are one of the best ways to persuade. That fact goes far in explaining why it seems that every debate on the Internet ends with a Hitler analogy. The phenomenon is so common it has its own name: Godwin’s law. But I doubt many people have changed an opinion just because a stranger on the Internet compared them to Hitler. A direct attack usually just hardens people into their current opinions.”

 

“I have no reason to believe humans evolved with the capability to understand their reality. That capability was not important to survival. When it comes to evolution, any illusion that keeps us alive long enough to procreate is good enough.”

 

“The grand illusion of life is that our minds have the capacity to understand reality. But human minds didn’t evolve to understand reality. We didn’t need that capability. A clear view of reality wasn’t necessary for our survival. Evolution cares only that you survive long enough to procreate. And that’s a low bar. The result is that each of us is, in effect, living in our own little movie that our brain has cooked up for us to explain our experiences”

 

“The common worldview, shared by most humans, is that there is one objective reality, and we humans can understand that reality through a rigorous application of facts and reason. This view of the world imagines that some people have already achieved a fact-based type of enlightenment that is compatible with science and logic, and they are trying to help the rest of us see the world the “right” way. As far as I can tell, most people share that interpretation of the world. The only wrinkle with that worldview is that we all think we are the enlightened ones. And we assume the people who disagree with us just need better facts, and perhaps better brains, in order to agree with us. That filter on life makes most of us happy—”

 

“The worst thing your brain could do is reinterpret your reality into a whole new movie with each new bit of information. That would be exhausting and without benefit. Instead, your brain takes the path of least resistance and instantly interprets your observations to fit your existing worldview. It’s just easier.”

 

“PERSUASION TIP 9 Display confidence (either real or faked) to improve your persuasiveness. You have to believe yourself, or at least appear as if you do, in order to get anyone else to believe.”

 

My Take

If you want to understand how Donald Trump won the 2016 presidential election, I suggest that you read Win, Bigly.  Scott Adams presciently predicted Trump’s win and does a masterful job explaining in this book how it happened.  He does so in an easy to read, informative, witty and humorous style.  You also learn a lot about the subject of persuasion.  A very quick, easy and fun read.

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202. How to Win Friends and Influence People

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆☆

Author:   Dale Carnegie

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Self-Improvement, Psychology

288 pages, published October, 1936

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

How to Win Friends and Influence People is primer for how to have sincere, positive interactions with other people to better achieve your personal and business goals.   Full of anecdotes to support his points, here is a summary of Carnegie’s advice:

 

Techniques in Handling People

  1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.

 

Six ways to make people like you

  1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
  2. Smile.
  3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
  4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  6. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

 

Win people to your way of thinking

  1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
  2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
  3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
  4. Begin in a friendly way.
  5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
  6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
  7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
  8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
  10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
  11. Dramatize your ideas.
  12. Throw down a challenge.

 

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
  2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
  3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
  4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
  5. Let the other person save face.
  6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
  7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
  8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
  9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 

Quotes 

“It isn’t what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

 

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

 

“Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.”

 

“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you. That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.”

 

“People who smile,” he said, “tend to manage, teach and sell more effectively, and to raise happier children.”

 

“A man without a smiling face must not open a shop.”

 

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”

 

“The Value of a Smile at Christmas.   It costs nothing, but creates much.   It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give.   It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.   None are so rich they can get along without it, and none so poor but are richer for its benefits.   It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign of friends.”

 

“The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage.”

 

“Benjamin Franklin, tactless in his youth, became so diplomatic, so adroit at handling people, that he was made American Ambassador to France. The secret of his success? “I will speak ill of no man,” he said, “ … and speak all the good I know of everybody.”

 

“The unvarnished truth is that almost all the people you meet feel themselves superior to you in some way, and a sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance, and recognize it sincerely.”

 

“Remember that other people may be totally wrong. But they don’t think so.”

 

“As Lord Chesterfield said to his son: Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.”

 

“If there is any one secret of success,” said Henry Ford, “it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

 

“Simply changing one three-letter word can often spell the difference between failure and success in changing people without giving offense or arousing resentment. Many people begin their criticism with sincere praise followed by the word “but” and ending with a critical statement. For example, in trying to change a child’s careless attitude toward studies, we might say, “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term. But if you had worked harder on your algebra, the results would have been better.” In this case, Johnnie might feel encouraged until he heard the word “but.” He might then question the sincerity of the original praise. To him, the praise seemed only to be a contrived lead-in to a critical inference of failure. Credibility would be strained, and we probably would not achieve our objectives of changing Johnnie’s attitude toward his studies. This could be easily overcome by changing the word “but” to “and.” “We’re really proud of you, Johnnie, for raising your grades this term, and by continuing the same conscientious efforts next term, your algebra grade can be up with all the others.”

 

“Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.  Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment. …. Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.  That reminds me of this famous quote by Thomas Carlyle: “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men.”

 

“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument— and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”

 

“Try leaving a friendly trail of little sparks of gratitude on your daily trips. You will be surprised how they will set small flames of friendship that will be rose beacons on your next visit.”

 

“Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.”

 

“You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”

 

“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

 

“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent’s good will.”

 

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

 

“If you want to know how to make people shun you and laugh at you behind your back and even despise you, here is the recipe: Never listen to anyone for long. Talk incessantly about yourself. If you have an idea while the other person is talking, don’t wait for him or her to finish: bust right in and interrupt in the middle of a sentence.”

 

“Emerson said: “Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn of him.”

 

“Buddha said: ‘Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love,’ and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person’s viewpoint.”

 

“about 15 percent of one’s financial success is due to one’s technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering—to personality and the ability to lead people.”

 

“The legendary French aviation pioneer and author Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: “I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself. Hurting a man in his dignity is a crime.”

 

“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

 

“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people,” said Schwab, “the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. “There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors.”

 

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.” As Dr. Johnson said: “God himself, sir, does not propose to judge man until the end of his days.” Why should you and I?”

 

“A person’s toothache means more to that person than a famine in China which kills a million people. A boil on one’s neck interests one more than forty earthquakes in Africa.”

 

“The only reason, for example, that you are not a rattlesnake is that your mother and father weren’t rattlesnakes. You deserve very little credit for being what you are.”

 

“The secret of his success? “I will speak ill of no man,” he said, “. . and speak all the good I know of everybody.”

 

“To change somebody’s behavior, change the level of respect she receives by giving her a fine reputation to live up to. Act as though the trait you are trying to influence is already one of the person’s outstanding characteristics.”

 

“The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.”

 

“A man convinced against his will

Is of the same opinion still”

 

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

 

“ [T]he only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”

 

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

 

My Take

The classic How to Win Friends and Influence People, which was first published in 1936, is a book whose title everyone has heard of and which has had enormous influence on the world.  After seeing it recommended on several websites, I decided to read it.  Even though more than 80 years have passed since its publication, it stands the test of time.  Just look at the summary and quotes above to see a sampling of all the pearls of wisdom contained in this book.  In fact, I got so much out of it that I asked my 19 year old son to read it as his Christmas gift to me and then spend some time discussing it.  I wholeheartedly recommend you do the same with someone you know from the younger generation. The advice is timeless and will improve the lives of all who read it.