Posts

, , , , , , ,

82. Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:  

Author:   Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton

Genre:  Non-Fiction, Finance, Happiness, Self-Improvement

224 pages, published May 14, 2013

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

Professors Dunn and Norton delve into behavioral science research to explain how money can buy happiness—if you follow the five core principles of smart spending:

 

  1.  Buy Experiences:  Most Americans describe owning a home as an essential component of the American dream. But recent happiness research suggests that home ownership is far from dreamy.  Material things (from beautiful homes to fancy pens) turn out to provide less happiness than experiential purchases (like trips, concerts, and special meals).  Whether you’re spending $1 or $200,000, buying experiences rather than material goods can inoculate you against buyer’s remorse.

 

  1.  Make It a Treat:  Many residents of London have never visited Big Ben.  What stops them? When something wonderful is always available, people are less inclined to appreciate it. Limiting our access to the things we like best may help to “re-virginize” us, renewing our capacity for pleasure.  Rather than advocating wholesale self-denial (say, giving up coffee completely), we’ll demonstrate the value of turning our favorite things back into treats (making that afternoon latte a special indulgence rather than a daily necessity.

 

  1.  Buy Time:  By permitting us to outsource our most dreaded tasks, from scrubbing toilets to cleaning gutters, money can transform the way we spend our time, freeing us to pursue our passions.  Yet wealthier individuals do not spend their time in happier ways on a daily basis; thus they fail to use their money to buy themselves happier time.  When people focus on their time rather than their money, they act like scientists of happiness, choosing activities that promote their well-being.  For companies, this principle entails thinking about compensation in a broader way, rewarding employees not only with money but with time.

 

  1.  Pay Now, Consume Later:  In the age of the iPad, products are available instantly and our wallets are lined with plastic instead of paper.  Digital technology and credit cards have encouraged us to adopt a “consume not and pay later” shopping mind-set.  By putting this powerful principle into reverse—by paying up front and delaying consumption—you can buy more happiness, even as you spend less money.  Because delaying consumption allows spenders to reap the pleasure of anticipation without the buzzkill of reality, vacations provide the most happiness before they occur.

 

  1.  Invest in Others:  New research demonstrates that spending money on others provides a bigger happiness boost than spending money on yourself.  And this principle holds in an extraordinary range of circumstances, from a Canadian college student purchasing a scarf for her mother to a Ugandan woman buying lifesaving malaria medication for a friend. The benefits of giving emerge among children before the age of two, and are detectable even in samples of saliva.  Investing in others can make individuals feel healthier and wealthier—and can even help people win at dodge ball.

 

Quotes

“Looking back on their past decisions about whether to purchase experiences, 83 percent of people sided with Mark Twain, reporting that their biggest single regret was one of inaction, of passing up the chance to buy an experience when the opportunity came along.”

 

“The Big Ben Problem suggests that introducing a limited time window may encourage people to seize opportunities for treats. Imagine you’ve just gotten a gift certificate for a piece of delicious cake and a beverage at a high-end French pastry shop. Would you rather see the gift certificate stamped with an expiration date two months from today, or just three weeks from now? Faced with this choice, most people were happier with the two-month option, and 68 percent reported that they would use it before this expiration date.25 But when they received a gift certificate for a tasty pastry at a local shop, only 6 percent of people redeemed it when they were given a two-month expiration date, compared to 31 percent of people who were given the shorter three-week window. People given two months to redeem the certificate kept thinking they could do it later, creating another instance of the Big Ben Problem—and leading them to miss out on a delicious treat.  Several years ago, Best Buy reported gaining $43 million from gift certificates that went unredeemed, propelling some consumer advocates and policy makers to push for extended expiration dates. But this strategy will likely backfire. We may have more success at maximizing our happiness when treats are only available for a limited time.”

My Take

There a lot of practical advice in Happy Money that, if followed, is likely to make you happier.  In my life, I have long practiced “pay now, consume later,” especially with travel (which also involves spending on an experience, rather than a product).  For me, at least half the fun of a trip is the planning that goes into it.  I also really enjoy looking back on trips that I have taken in the past and have never regretted any money that I have spent on travel.  I am also a big fan of “make it a treat” and can personally attest to the happiness boost that results.  As a devoted student of happiness, I can unequivocally recommend Happy Money as a way to increase your happiness.

/by
, , , , ,

80. The Richest Man in Babylon

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  

Author:   George S. Clason

Genre:  Fiction, Finance, Self-Help

144 pages, published 1926

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

First published in 1926, The Richest Man in Babylon is a classic book in the world of personal finance and reveals the secret to personal wealth.  The book uses the format of an ancient tale to impart the following precepts:

The 7 simple rules of money: 1) Start thy purse to fattening (save money); 2) Control thy expenditures (don’t spend more than you need); 3) Make thy gold multiply (invest wisely); 4) Guard thy treasures from loss (avoid investments that sound too good to be true); 5) Make of thy dwelling a profitable investment (own your home); 6) Ensure a future income (protect yourself with life insurance); and 7) Improve thy ability to earn (strive to become wiser and more knowledgeable).

To bring your dreams and desires to fulfillment, you must be successful with money.

The laws of money are like the laws of gravity: assured and unchanging

Money is plentiful for those who understand the simple laws of making money.

Babylon was the wealthiest city in the world at the time of its height because its people appreciated the value of money.

You must constantly have an income that keeps your purse full.

“It costs nothing to ask wise advice from a good friend.”

It’s simple to say, but many people never achieve a serious measure of wealth because they never seek it.  They never truly seek it, focus on it, and commit to it.

Youth often assumes, incorrectly, that the old and wise only have wisdom about days gone by.

You will only begin building wealth when you start to realize that a part of all the money you earn is yours to keep.  That is, pay yourself first.  You always pay others for goods and services. Pay yourself as much as you can. Save money.

You should save at least 1/10th of what you earn. More if you can afford to do so.

Do not take advice on finance from a brick layer. Go to people who are experts in a particular subject if you want expert advice. It’s too easy for amateurs to give out advice.

Build for yourself a mountain of gold first, then you can enjoy as many banquets as you wish without worry. Don’t spend your money as soon as you earn it.

Surround yourself with people who are familiar with money, who work with it each day, and who make lots of it.

Enjoy life while you are here.  Do not overstrain to save.

Do not put your money in investments which do not pay a dividend, but also do not invest in risky places that seem too good to be true.

What each person calls their “necessary expenses” will always grow to match your income unless you resist that urge. Do not confuse your necessary expenses with your desires.

“A man’s wealth is not in the coins in his purse. It is in his income.”

Ensure a future income. Every person gets old. Make sure your income will continue without work.

By life insurance.  Provide in advance for the protection of your family.

Increase your ability to earn.  Improve your skills.  As you perfect your craft, your ability to earn more increases.

The more we know, the more we may earn.  The person who seeks to know more of their craft is capable of earning more.

You cannot arrive at the fullest measure of success until you crush the spirit of procrastination within you.

The 5 Laws of Gold: 1) Gold comes easily and in increasing quantity to the person who saves at least 1/10th of their earnings; 2) Gold labors diligently and multiplies for the person who finds it profitable employment; 3) Gold clings to the protection of the person who invests their gold with wise people; 4) Gold slips away from the person who invests gold into purposes through which they are not familiar; 5) Gold flees the person who tries to force it into impossible earnings.

If you desire to help you friend do not do so in a way that brings their burdens onto you. There are many ways to help people. You don’t have to choose the ways that restrict your time, money, energy, or ability to care for yourself.

The wise lender always has a guarantee of repayment should the investment go poorly.

Above all you should desire safety for your money.  Better a little caution than a great regret.

Protect yourself with insurance. You cannot afford to be unprotected.

Do not live beyond your means.

No man respects himself if he does not repay his debts.

The soul of a free man looks at the world as a series of problems to be solved. Meanwhile, the soul of a slave whines, “What can I do?”

“Where the determination is, a way can be found.”

If you are in debt, live on 70% of what you make. Save 10% for yourself. Use the remaining 20% to repay your debts.

Stick with the plan. Money accrues surprisingly quickly and debts are gone fast with discipline and consistency.

Work attracts friends who admire your industriousness. Work attracts money and opportunity. “Hard work is the best friend I’ve ever had.”

 

Quotes

“Advice is one thing that is freely given away, but watch that you only take what is worth having.”

 

“If you desire to help thy friend, do so in a way that will not bring thy friend’s burdens upon thyself.”

 

“The hungrier one becomes, the clearer one’s mind works— also the more sensitive one becomes to the odors of food.”

 

“As for time, all men have it in abundance.”

 

“When no buyers were near, he talked to me earnestly to impress upon me how valuable work would be to me in the future: ‘Some men hate it. They make it their enemy. Better to treat it like a friend, make thyself like it. Don’t mind because it is hard. If thou thinkest about what a good house thou build, then who cares if the beams are heavy and it is far from the well to carry the water for the plaster. Promise me, boy, if thou get a master, work for him as hard as thou canst. If he does not appreciate all thou do, never mind. Remember, work, well-done, does good to the man who does it. It makes him a better man.”

 

“Wealth, like a tree, grows from a tiny seed. The first copper you save is the seed from which your tree of wealth shall grow. The sooner you plant that seed the sooner shall the tree grow. And the more faithfully you nourish and water that tree with consistent savings, the sooner may you bask in contentment beneath its shade.”

 

“One may not condemn a man for succeeding because he knows how. Neither may one with justice take away from a man what he has fairly earned, to give to men of less ability.”

 

“Opportunity is a haughty goddess who wastes no time with those who are unprepared.”

 

“The reason why we have never found measure of wealth. We never sought it.”

My Take

While the language and stories in The Richest Man in Babylon can be a little corny at times, its message is rock solid and inspiring.  When I was 21 and newly graduated from college, my dad sat me down with a HP Financial calculator and showed me the magic of compound interest.  I got the message that it I started a regular practice of saving and investing then I would have a vast sum of money later in my life.  A few years later, my mom and stepdad preached the value of investing in real estate to me and helped me with a loan to buy my first house at age 26.  25 years and several houses later, my husband and I have made a huge amount on our real estate investments.  The Richest Man in Babylon articulates these principles (and more) in an easy reading, parable style.  I highly recommend this book for young people just starting out or for anyone else trying to figure out how to make money work for them.

/by
, ,

78. A Little Life

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:  Heather Ringoen

Author:   Hanya Yanagihara

Genre:  Fiction

720 pages, published March 10, 2015

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

A Little Life tells the stories of Willem, JB, Malcolm and Jude, four young men who meet at a small, exclusive college in Massachusetts college and become fast friends.  They all move to New York to pursue different interests.  Willem is a waiter/aspiring actor; JB a struggling artist; Malcolm an architect and Jude a lawyer.  While the book initially focuses on the lives and ambitions of each character, it quickly becomes Jude’s story.  Although physically disabled, Jude’s exemplary talents as a baker, singer, pianist, mathematician, and corporate litigator (to name a few) are too good to be true.  However, none of that matters to Jude who is scarred by a horrific childhood, the details of which are slowly unveiled during the course of the book.  As an adult, Jude is extremely successful at his chosen career and is surrounded by people who love and care for him.  However, he remains a broken man who believes that he is unworthy of all of these gifts.   

 

Quotes

“…things get broken, and sometimes they get repaired, and in most cases, you realize that no matter what gets damaged, life rearranges itself to compensate for your loss, sometimes wonderfully.”

 

“Relationships never provide you with everything. They provide you with some things. You take all you want from a person – sexual chemistry, let’s say, or good conversation, or financial support, or intellectual compatibility, or niceness, or loyalty – and you get to pick three of them.”

 

“You won’t understand what I mean now, but someday you will: the only trick of friendship, I think, is to find people who are better than you are—not smarter, not cooler, but kinder, and more generous, and more forgiving—and then to appreciate them for what they can teach you, and to try to listen to them when they tell you something about yourself, no matter how bad—or good—it might be, and to trust them, which is the hardest thing of all. But the best, as well.”

 

“Wasn’t friendship its own miracle, the finding of another person who made the entire lonely world seem somehow less lonely?”

 

“Fairness is for happy people, for people who have been lucky enough to have lived a life defined more by certainties than by ambiguities.

Right and wrong, however, are for—well, not unhappy people, maybe, but scarred people; scared people.”

 

“I have never been one of those people—I know you aren’t, either—who feels that the love one has for a child is somehow a superior love, one more meaningful, more significant, and grander than any other. I didn’t feel that before Jacob, and I didn’t feel that after. But it is a singular love, because it is a love whose foundation is not physical attraction, or pleasure, or intellect, but fear. You have never known fear until you have a child, and maybe that is what tricks us into thinking that it is more magnificent, because the fear itself is more magnificent. Every day, your first thought is not “I love him” but “How is he?” The world, overnight, rearranges itself into an obstacle course of terrors. I would hold him in my arms and wait to cross the street and would think how absurd it was that my child, that any child, could expect to survive this life. It seemed as improbable as the survival of one of those late-spring butterflies—you know, those little white ones—I sometimes saw wobbling through the air, always just millimeters away from smacking itself against a windshield.”

 

“…when your child dies, you feel everything you’d expect to feel, feelings so well-documented by so many others that I won’t even bother to list them here, except to say that everything that’s written about mourning is all the same, and it’s all the same for a reason – because there is no read deviation from the text. Sometimes you feel more of one thing and less of another, and sometimes you feel them out of order, and sometimes you feel them for a longer time or a shorter time. But the sensations are always the same. But here’s what no one says – when it’s your child, a part of you, a very tiny but nonetheless unignorable part of you, also feels relief. Because finally, the moment you have been expecting, been dreading, been preparing yourself for since the day you became a parent, has come.  Ah, you tell yourself, it’s arrived. Here it is.

And after that, you have nothing to fear again.”

 

“We all say we want our kids to be happy, only happy, and healthy, but we don’t want that. We want them to be like we are, or better than we are. We as humans are very unimaginative in that sense. We aren’t equipped for the possibility that they might be worse. But I guess that would be asking too much. It must be an evolutionary stopgap – if we were all so specifically, vividly aware of what might go horribly wrong, we would none of us have children at all.”

 

“He had looked at Jude, then, and had felt that same sensation he sometimes did when he thought, really thought of Jude and what his life had been: a sadness, he might have called it, but it wasn’t a pitying sadness; it was a larger sadness, one that seemed to encompass all the poor striving people, the billions he didn’t know, all living their lives, a sadness that mingled with a wonder and awe at how hard humans everywhere tried to live, even when their days were so very difficult, even when their circumstances were so wretched. Life is so sad, he would think in those moments. It’s so sad, and yet we all do it.”

 

“But these were days of self-fulfillment, where settling for something that was not quite your first choice of a life seemed weak-willed and ignoble. Somewhere, surrendering to what seemed to be your fate had changed from being dignified to being a sign of your own cowardice. There were times when the pressure to achieve happiness felt almost oppressive, as if happiness were something that everyone should and could attain, and that any sort of compromise in its pursuit was somehow your fault.”

 

“It was precisely these scenes he missed the most from his own life with Willem, the forgettable, in-between moments in which nothing seemed to be happening but whose absence was singularly unfillable.”

 

“They all—Malcolm with his houses, Willem with his girlfriends, JB with his paints, he with his razors—sought comfort, something that was theirs alone, something to hold off the terrifying largeness, the impossibility, of the world, of the relentlessness of its minutes, its hours, its days.”

 

“Everyone thought they would be friends for decades, forever. But for most people, of course, that hadn’t happened. As you got older, you realized that the qualities you valued in the people you slept with or dated weren’t necessarily the ones you wanted to live with, or be with, or plod through your days with. If you were smart, and if you were lucky, you learned this and accepted this. You figured out what was most important to you and you looked for it, and you learned to be realistic.”

 

“I know my life’s meaningful because” – and here he stopped, and looked shy, and was silent for a moment before he continued – ” because I’m a good friend. I love my friends, and I care about them, and I think I make them happy.”

 

“Ethics and morals do, in reality, have a place in law—although not in jurisprudence. It is morals that help us make the laws, but morals do not help us apply them.”

 

My Take

I really loved A Little Life, an engrossing book about friendship, love, the meaning of life, and dealing with horrific pain inflicted during childhood from which it seems impossible to recover.  Yanagihara creates her characters so vividly and with such incredible depth, especially Jude St. Francis, that you are sad when the book ends and you have to say goodbye to them and their sharply realized world that you have been living in.  While A Little Life can sometimes be a tough read, the prose is often beautiful and moving.  This book stayed with me long after I finished it and I look forward to reading more from Ms. Yanagihara, a very talented writer.

/by
, , , ,

76. Misfit to Masterpiece

Rating:  ☆☆

Recommended by:  Christie Funk Heflin

Author:   M. Diane Pearce

Genre:  Non Fiction, Christian, Self-Help

150 pages, published August 8, 2014

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

In Misfit to Masterpiece, Diane Pearce tells of her journey from abused orphan to wife, mother, friend, marriage counselor, professor, and Founder of Legacy Strategy, Inc. Pearce shows how each of us can heal from the harm done to us by others, and even grow to the point of being inspired by that very same hurt. As humans, when we’re hurt, we’re intrinsically wired to protect ourselves by isolating from the world.  However, we’re also created for relationship, not isolation, and we are not capable of bearing the burden of our harmful circumstances alone. So what happens when, no matter what we do, our relationships hurt us, sometimes seemingly beyond repair?  Misfit to Masterpiece seeks to provide an answer for that questions and the answer goes through Jesus Christ.  Pearce provides simple strategies for healing our heart attitude, as well as the tools necessary to embrace the true strength and beauty of our character.

 

Quotes

 

My Take

I don’t mind overtly religious books. In fact, they are sometimes the best books that I read.  However, while Pearce’s story of growing up as an orphan in an incredibly abusive situation was powerful and moving, that is only a small part of the book.  The rest is more or less a guide to prayer for help from God in dealing with abuse.  There is nothing wrong with this.  It just didn’t move me.

/by
, , ,

73. The Husband’s Secret

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:   Heather Bohart

Author:   Liane Moriarty

Genre:  Fiction

396 pages, published July 30, 2013

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

The Husband’s Secret is a suspenseful novel that, as with many Liane Moriarity books, tells the intersecting stories of several Australian women.  The central character is Cecilia Fitzpatrick who, for all intents and purposes, seems to have it all.  She’s an incredibly successful businesswoman, a pillar of her small community, and a devoted wife and mother.  Her life is as orderly and spotless as her home.  However, when rummaging through the attic she discovers a letter that is only meant to be read upon her husband’s death.  She can’t help herself and reads it and discovers her husband’s secret.  Once she does, not only Cecelia and her family but many of others in her community, experience life changing repercussions.

 

Quotes

“This was how it could be done. This was how you lived with a terrible secret. You just did it. You pretended everything was fine. You ignored the deep, cramplike pain in your stomach. You somehow anesthetized yourself so that nothing felt that bad, but nothing felt that good either.”

 

“Her goodness had limits. She could have easily gone her whole life without knowing those limits, but now she knew exactly where they lay.”

 

“Falling in love was easy.  Anyone could fall.  It was holding on that was tricky.”

 

“All these years there had been a Tupperware container of bad language in her head, and now she opened it and all those crisp, crunchy words were fresh and lovely, ready to be used.”

 

“None of us ever know all the possible courses our lives could have, and maybe should have taken.”

 

“It’s all about our egos. She felt she was on the edge of understanding something important. They could fall in love with fresh, new people, or they could have the courage and humility to tear off some essential layer of themselves and reveal to each other a whole new level of otherness, a level far beyond what sort of music they liked. It seemed to her everyone had too much self-protective pride to truly strip down to their souls in front of their long-term partners. It was easier to pretend there was nothing more to know, to fall into an easygoing companionship. It was almost embarrassing to be truly intimate with your spouse; how could you watch someone floss one minute, and the next minute share your deepest passion or most ridiculous, trite little fears? It was almost easier to talk about that sort of thing before you’d shared a bathroom and a bank account and argued over the packing of the dishwasher.”

 

“Marriage was a form of insanity; love hovering permanently on the edge of aggravation.”

 

“Polly had arrived in the world outraged to discover that her sisters had gotten there before her.”

 

“The words “I´m sorry” felt like an insult. You said “I´m sorry” when you bumped against someone´s supermarket trolley. There need to be bigger words.”

 

“When you didn’t let a woman help, it was a way of keeping her at a distance, of letting her know that she wasn’t family, of saying I don’t like you enough to let you into my kitchen.”

 

“She was a far better mother when she had an audience.”

 

“Life would go back to being unendurable, except – and this was the worst part – she would in fact endure it, it wouldn’t kill her, she’d keep on living day after day after day, an endless loop of glorious sunrises and sunsets that Janie never got to see.”

 

My Take

The Husband’s Secret is the second book by Liane Moriarity that I read this year (the first was Big Little Lies).  Moriarity has a formula to her books.  She sets up several women with intersecting lives as her characters, spends the first part of the book alluding to an event while keeping some mystery about the details of the event, and then shows how the characters lives change in reaction to the event.  It’s a formula that works pretty well.  Moriarity creates interesting and well developed characters and locations and the element of mystery keeps you turning the pages.  I recommend The Husband’s Secret.  A great read while on vacation.

/by
, , , , , ,

72. The Traveler’s Gift: Seven Decisions that Determine Personal Success

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:   Adrienne Bulinski

Author:   Andy Andrews

Genre:  Fiction, Self-Improvement

227 pages, published April 30, 2005

Reading Format:  Book

 

Summary

The Traveler’s Gift weaves a business fable about a man named David Ponder who loses his job and money, but finds his way after he is magically transported into seven key points in history.  At each location, Ponder meets historical the following historical figures and learns these important lessons:

 

  1. Harry S. Truman:  The Buck Stops Here.   “I accept Responsibility for past.  I control my thoughts.  I control my emotions.  I am responsible for my success.  The buck stops here.”  Are you in control of your life?  Are you leading your ship or are you a passenger, allowing others to determine where you go.  Do you blame moments of the past for your current situation?  Do you allow the weather to determine how you feel?  Stop and take control over everything that matters.  Today.  You and only you should be in control over your success.

 

  1. King Solomon:  I Will Seek Wisdom.  “I will be a servant to others.  I will listen to the counsel of wise men. I will choose my friends with care.  I will seek wisdom.”  Do you read?  Remember, rich people have big libraries and poor people have big TVs.  Do you ask the advice of those you find to be wiser than you?  Do you hang out with people that can help you grow and not tear you down?  Do you help others or hinder them.  Never stop growing.

 

  1. Colonel Joshua Chamberlain:  I am a Person of Action.  (Chamberlain’s group of men were on the extreme left flank for the Union Army that was protecting Gettysburg.  Most of his men were dead or severely injured and they were out of ammunition.  They could not retreat as that would mean the South would advance and take Gettysburg.  They couldn’t sit there and wait either as that would mean sure defeat.  Chamberlain had no choice but to charge.  “I do not fear failure, for in my life, failure is a myth. Failure exists only for the person who quits.  I do not quit.  I am courageous. I am a leader.  I seize this moment.  I choose now.  I am a person of action.”  Act.  Do not hesitate.  Do not fill your mind with possibilities of negative outcomes.  Take action.

 

  1. Christopher Columbus:  I have a Decided Heart.  “I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future.  My course has been charted.  My destiny is assured.  I have a decided heart.”  What could you discover if you were so passionate about your future?

 

  1. Anne Frank:  Today I Will Choose to be Happy.  “I will be grateful for the miracle of abundance.  I will greet each day with laughter.  I will smile at every person I meet. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit.  Today I will choose to be happy.”  Is being happy a choice?  Can you decide what kind of mood you are in?  Yes it is and you can.  Good things and bad things will come your way.  You can decide how these things affect you.  Be grateful and express gratitude.  Smile often, laugh with your friends and family.

 

  1. Abraham Lincoln:  I Will Greet This Day with a Forgiving Spirit.  “From this day forward, my history will cease to control my destiny.  I have forgiven myself.  My life has just begun.  I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness.  I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly.  I will forgive myself.  I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.”  How many hours have you lost due to resentment and anger?  How many relationships have been ruined as a result of your ability to say “I forgive you”?  How many opportunities went by the wayside because you couldn’t forgive the one person that matters most, you?  Holding on to anger towards another person is an incredible waste of time and energy.  Often times the other party has no idea of your feelings anyway!  Forgiveness is not something to be hoarded inside but rather should be given away whenever possible.  It has no value unless it is given away.  If and when you make a mistake, do not keep yourself down.  Own the errors of your ways and forgive yourself so that you can move forward and continue to grow.

 

  1. The Archangel Gabriel:  I Will Persist Without Exception.  “I will believe in the future that I do not see. That is faith. And the reward of this faith is to see the future that I believed. I will continue despite exhaustion. I focus on results. I am a person of great faith.  I will persist without exception.”  The last person Ponder meets is the Archangel Gabriel who shows him a picture and tells him the names of the children that he never had.  Ponder responds that they always wanted more children but did not think they could afford it.  Gabriel tells Ponder that they are in a warehouse filled the dreams and goals of the less courageous.  It’s a very somber moment.  There are no second chances.  Once an opportunity is missed, it is gone forever.  You will miss some, plenty actually.  But there will be many many more.  Be ready.

 

Quotes

“Life itself is a privilege, but to live life to the fullest- well, that is a choice.”

 

“Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their minds slowly. Failures make their decisions slowly and change their minds quickly.”

 

“You are where you are because of your thinking. Your thinking dictates your decisions. Decisions are choices.”

 

“I will not waste time on second thoughts. My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.”

 

“As children, we were afraid of the dark.  Now as adults, we are afraid of the light. We are afraid to step out. We are afraid to become more.”

 

“My smile has become my calling card.  It is, after all, the most potent weapon I possess.”

 

“Every man of character will have that character questioned. Every man of honor and courage will be faced with unjust criticism, but never forget that unjust criticism has no impact whatsoever upon the truth. And the only sure way to avoid criticism is to do nothing and be nothing.”

 

“First we make a choice. Then our choices make us.”

 

“I possess the greatest power ever bestowed upon mankind, the power of choice.”

 

“The answer, of course, is that we are always and forever influenced by those with whom we associate. If a man keeps company with those who curse and complain—he will soon find curses and complaints flowing like a river from his own mouth. If he spends his days with the lazy—those seeking handouts—he will soon find his finances in disarray. Many of our sorrows can be traced to relationships with the wrong people.”

 

“A wise man will cultivate a servant’s spirit, for that particular attribute attracts people like no other. As I humbly serve others, their wisdom will be freely shared with me. Often, the person who develops a servant’s spirit becomes wealthy beyond measure.”

My Take

While the structure of The Traveler’s Gift seems a bit forced at times, there is a lot to like about this book.  Andrews tells his story and imparts his pearls of wisdom in a very reader friendly manner that is easy to follow and understand.  I agree with his life lessons and am glad to be reminded of them.  The Traveler’s Gift is a book that I wholeheartedly recommend.

/by
, , , ,

71. Big Little Lies

Rating:  ☆☆☆☆

Recommended by:   

Author:   Liane Moriarity

Genre:  Fiction

460 pages, published July 29, 2014

Reading Format:  Audio Book and Book

Summary 

Big Little Lies tells the story of three friends in a seaside Australian town of Pirriwee.  Madeline, a divorced and remarried mother of three, is funny, passionate, remembers everything and forgives no one.  Her ex-husband and his new zen wife Bonnie have moved into her beloved beachside community and Madeline’s daughter seems to be to be choosing Madeline’s ex-husband over her.  Celeste is a woman of striking beauty married to Perry, a incredibly handsome and rich man who seems to the outside world to be the perfect husband and father.  However, things are not always as they appear to be.  Jane is a very young single mother who, with her son Ziggy, are recent arrivals in Pirriwee and are befriended by Madeline and Celeste.   Jane harbors a sad secret and has concerns about her son’s character when he is accused of accosting a girl in his Kindergarten class.  The stories of these three women develop and intersect in interesting ways that culminate in a potential murder at the Pirriwee Public School’s trivia night.

 

Quotes

“They say it’s good to let your grudges go, but I don’t know, I’m quite fond of my grudge. I tend it like a little pet.”

 

“Everyone wanted to be rich and beautiful, but the truly rich and beautiful had to pretend they were just the same as everyone else.”

 

“If she packaged the perfect Facebook life, maybe she would start to believe it herself.”

 

“I mean a fat, ugly man can still be funny and lovable and successful,” continued Jane. “But it’s like it’s the most shameful thing for a woman to be.” “But you weren’t, you’re not—” began Madeline. “Yes, OK, but so what if I was!” interrupted Jane. “What if I was! That’s my point. What if I was a bit overweight and not especially pretty? Why is that so terrible? So disgusting? Why is that the end of the world?”

 

“Every day I think, ‘Gosh, you look a bit tired today,’ and it’s just recently occurred to me that it’s not that I’m tired, it’s that this is the way I look now.”

 

“The only woman who deserved a philandering husband was a philandering wife.”

 

“Nothing and nobody could aggravate you the way your child could aggravate you.”

 

“Stick with the nice boys, Chloe!” said Madeline after a moment. “Like Daddy. Bad boys don’t bring you coffee in bed, I’ll tell you that for free.”

 

“every relationship had its own “love account.” Doing something kind for your partner was like a deposit. A negative comment was a withdrawal. The trick was to keep your account in credit.”

 

“This was not the career she’d dreamed of as an ambitious seventeen-year-old, but now it was hard to remember ever feeling innocent and audacious enough to dream of a certain type of life, as if you got to choose how things turned out.”

 

“It was just so very surprising that the good-looking, worried man who had just offered her a cup of tea, and was right now working at his computer down the hallway, and who would come running if she called him, and who loved her with all of his strange heart, would in all probability one day kill her.”

My Take

I have read Liane Moriarty’s (author of The Husband’s Secret, What Alice Forgot, and Truly, Madly, Greatly) Big Little Lies twice, the audio version last year and the book version this year when I assigned it to my book club.  As Gretchen Rubin opines in The Happiness Project (which is one of my all time favorite books):  “the best reading is re-reading.”  I’m not sure that  I gained a lot more the second time around, but I did enjoy it both times (although the narrator’s voice with her heavy Australian accent on the audio version took some getting used to).  The women protagonists of Big Little Lies draw you into their lives and it is not hard to empathize with their pain, struggles and heartbreak.  I was especially moved by Celeste, the rich and beautiful woman who seemed to have it all, but who realistically thought she might not live another year.  Big Little Lies is worth a read and I recommend it.

/by
, , ,

64. Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder

Rating:  ☆☆☆

Recommended by:

Author:   Nassim Taleb

Genre:  Non Fiction, Public Policy

521 pages, published November 27, 2012

Reading Format:  Book

Summary 

In Antifragile, Nassim Taleb, the bestselling author of The Black Swan, writes about how some systems actually benefit from disorder.  Antifragile discusses how to gain from disorder and chaos while being protected from fragilities and adverse events. Taleb describes how “antifragile” systems benefit from adversity, uncertainty and stress, similar to human bones getting stronger when subjected to stress and tension.  Taleb posits that people, things and systems which are not antifragile will not survive.  Specifically, he looks at why the city state is better than the nation state, why debt is bad, and why almost everything modern is bound to fail.  Antifragile explores innovation, health, biology, medicine, life decisions, politics, foreign policy, urban planning, war, personal finance, and economic systems.

Quotes

“If you have more than one reason to do something (choose a doctor or veterinarian, hire a gardener or an employee, marry a person, go on a trip), just don’t do it. It does not mean that one reason is better than two, just that by invoking more than one reason you are trying to convince yourself to do something. Obvious decisions (robust to error) require no more than a single reason.”

 

“So I follow the Lindy effect as a guide in selecting what to read: books that have been around for ten years will be around for ten more; books that have been around for two millennia should be around for quite a bit of time, and so forth.”

 

“Difficulty is what wakes up the genius.”

 

“This is the tragedy of modernity: as with neurotically overprotective parents, those trying to help are often hurting us the most.”

 

“The simpler, the better. Complications lead to multiplicative chains of unanticipated effects.”

 

“The world as a whole has never been richer, and it has never been more heavily in debt, living off borrowed money. The record shows that, for society, the richer we become, the harder it get to live within our means. Abundance is harder for us to handle than scarcity.”

 

“Never listen to a leftist who does not give away his fortune or does not live the exact lifestyle he wants others to follow. What the French call “the caviar left,” la gauche caviar, or what Anglo-Saxons call champagne socialists, are people who advocate socialism, sometimes even communism, or some political system with sumptuary limitations, while overtly leading a lavish lifestyle, often financed by inheritance—not realizing the contradiction that they want others to avoid just such a lifestyle. It is not too different from the womanizing popes, such as John XII, or the Borgias. The contradiction can exceed the ludicrous as with French president François Mitterrand of France who, coming in on a socialist platform, emulated the pomp of French monarchs. Even more ironic, his traditional archenemy, the conservative General de Gaulle, led a life of old-style austerity and had his wife sew his socks.”

 

“Steve Jobs: “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”

 

“The psychologist Gerd Gigerenzer has a simple heuristic. Never ask the doctor what you should do. Ask him what he would do if he were in your place. You would be surprised at the difference.”

 

“Many people keep deploring the low level of formal education in the United states (as defined by, say, math grades). Yet these fail to realize that the new comes from here and gets imitated elsewhere. And it is not thanks to universities, which obviously claim a lot more credit than their accomplishments warrant. Like Britain in the Industrial Revolution, America’s asset is, simply, risk taking and the use of optionality, this remarkable ability to engage in rational forms fo trial and error, with no comparative shame in failing again, starting again, and repeating failure.”

 

“Modernity has replaced ethics with legalese, and the law can be gamed with a good lawyer.”

 

“The best way to verify that you are alive is by checking if you like variations. Remember that food would not have a taste if it weren’t for hunger; results are meaningless without effort, joy without sadness, convictions without uncertainty, and an ethical life isn’t so when stripped of personal risks.”

 

“Few understand that procrastination is our natural defense, letting things take care of themselves and exercise their antifragility; it results from some ecological or naturalistic wisdom, and is not always bad.”

 

“Further, my characterization of a loser is someone who, after making a mistake, doesn’t introspect, doesn’t exploit it, feels embarrassed and defensive rather than enriched with a new piece of information, and tries to explain why he made the mistake rather than moving on. These types often consider themselves the “victims” of some large plot, a bad boss, or bad weather. Finally, a thought. He who has never sinned is less reliable than he who has only sinned once. And someone who has made plenty of errors—though never the same error more than once—is more reliable than someone who has never made any.”

 

“The biologist and intellectual E. O. Wilson was once asked what represented the most hindrance to the development of children; his answer was the soccer mom. He did not use the notion of the Procrustean bed, but he outlined it perfectly. His argument is that they repress children’s natural biophilia, their love of living things. But the problem is more general; soccer moms try to eliminate the trial and error, the antifragility, from children’s lives, move them away from the ecological and transform them into nerds working on preexisting (soccer-mom-compatible) maps of reality. Good students, but nerds–that is, they are like computers except slower. Further, they are now totally untrained to handle ambiguity. As a child of civil war, I disbelieve in structured learning . . . . Provided we have the right type of rigor, we need randomness, mess, adventures, uncertainty, self-discovery, near-traumatic episodes, all those things that make life worth living, compared to the structured, fake, and ineffective life of an empty-suit CEO with a preset schedule and an alarm clock.”

Read more

/by
, , , , ,

61. Vegan Before Six

Rating:  ☆☆☆

Recommended by:

Author:   Mark Bittman

Genre:

288 pages, published April 30, 2013

Reading Format:  Book

Summary 

Vegan Before Six or VB6 as it is referred to was written by food writer Mark Bittman after his doctor told him to adopt a vegan diet or go on medication.  He didn’t want to do either, so he compromised and decided to become a “flexitarian” in which he focused on a vegan diet heavy in vegetables, fruits, and grains until 6:00 p.m.  After that time he would eat however he wanted in moderation. The results were quick and impressive.   Bittman lost 35 pounds and saw all of his blood numbers move in the right direction.  He also kept the weight off and his health continued to improve.

Quotes

“I live full-time in the world of omnivores, and I’ve never wanted to leave. But the Standard American Diet (yes, it’s SAD) got to me as it gets to almost everyone in this country.”

 

“Like pornography, junk [food] might be tough to define but you know it when you see it.”

 

“We spend a trillion dollars a year on food, but it’s only 9.4 percent of our expendable income, the lowest percentage of any country on record.”

Read more

/by
, ,

60. A Thousand Pardons

Rating:  ☆☆☆1/2

Recommended by:

Author:   Jonathan Dee

Genre:  Fiction

214 pages, published March 12, 2013

Reading Format:  Book

Summary 

A Thousand Pardons tells the story of the Armsteads, who were once a privileged and loving couple, but have now reached a breaking point.  Ben, a partner in a prestigious law firm, has become unpredictable at work and withdrawn at home.  When Ben’s recklessness takes an alarming turn, everything the Armsteads have built together unravels, swiftly and spectacularly. Forced by necessity to go back to work, Helen finds a job in public relations and relocates with her adopted daughter Sara from their home in upstate New York to an apartment in Manhattan.  There, Helen discovers she has a rare gift which becomes indispensable in the world of image control:  She can convince arrogant men to publicly admit their mistakes which yields incredible results. Yet redemption is more easily granted in her professional life than in her personal one.  As she is confronted with the biggest case of her career, the fallout from her marriage, and Sara’s increasingly distant behavior, Helen must face the limits of accountability and her own capacity for forgiveness.

 

Quotes

“Have you ever been so bored by yourself that you are literally terrified? That is what it’s like for me every day. That is what it’s like for me sitting here, right now, right this second. It’s like a fucking death sentence, coming back to that house every night. I mean, no offense.”

“No offense?” Helen said. “It’s not that Helen herself is especially boring, I don’t mean that, or that some other woman might be more or less boring. It’s the situation. It’s the setup. It’s not you per se.”

 

“at some point, forgot to find anything else to want from life, and this had turned her into a boring person, a burden, a part of the upkeep, and she might have floated along mindlessly like that forever […] were it not for the fact that her lack of inner resources had driven her husband insane.”

 

“People are quick to judge,” she tells him, and “they are quick to condemn, but that’s mostly because their ultimate desire is to forgive.”

 

“They were at the very bloom of everything for which they felt destined and everything that others would begrudge them.”

 

“All that survived of his old life was the disgrace of its end, and there was something almost comfortable about that disgrace, about the burden of it; it seemed to be what he’d been courting all along.”

Read more

/by